


Healer & the Wound

by sarahunter123



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F, F/M, Implied Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-01-15 09:14:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18495889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahunter123/pseuds/sarahunter123
Summary: My first attempt at a truly long fic featuring my Dalish Inquisitor Faewyn  Lavellen.Faewyn is a Dalish hedge mage who practiced healing in her clan along with the skills to defend herself.  Sent away due to an influx of mages, Faewyn had to make her way in the world. One day she receives an urgent request from her Keeper. Attend the Conclave by any means and find out what's happening.  Faewyn believes the task is simple... until everything literally blows up.Cullen is determined to forge a new path for himself.  A new role, a new title, and a new hope. Then everything blows up and a Dalish woman becomes the figurehead of his new path.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Before the Conclave......

      The Waking Sea wasn't as lovely as it sounded. "Waking Sea" conjured the images of a peaceful early morning, filled with lovely soft colors of the rising the sun. 

     Instead, the Waking Sea was choppy, with endless high waves tossing the large ship like a ragdoll. The sky was always gray and rain was always falling. Cullen Rutherford spent most of his time soaking wet heaving up the contents of his stomach while he dangled his head over the railing of the ship. Cassandra Penteghast stood watch over him as a mother would her child. "Cassandra go back inside, I'll be fine." "No Commander, I am very much enjoying this view." Cassandra countered dryly. 

     This continued for several days until a Dalish woman appeared behind them. She had heard the groans and vomiting from the golden man day in and day out. She sat on a wooden crate and saw the routine beginning again and decided today, she would offer assistance.  Whether the man accepted was his decision. 

     "Hello, I couldn't help but notice you haven't taken to sea very well. I would like to offer you some of these herbs. Chew on this 3 times a day don't swallow or eat it whole- you'll feel much better. "

     After the man was able to pull himself from the side of the ship he nodded a 'no'. "Thank you for the offer, but I have plenty of elfroot and it's done nothing". "It's not Elfroot. It's Witherstalk grown far to the north. It is very rare." 

     Cassandra rolled her eyes and huffed, "Maker Commander just try it so we can get some sleep."

     "Alright.... thank you my lady." 

The woman nodded and gave him the herb and as quietly as she'd appeared,  she disappeared.  

                                ***************

     Cullen felt immensely better after taking the Witherstalk as instructed.  The effects of the Lyrium slowly leaving his body had made his sea sickness that much worse. However, the Dalish woman had been a tremendous help. He decided to seek her out and thank her for her kindness.  Cassandra gave him a description since he honestly had little memory of their interaction. "She's definitely Dalish but the tallest Dalish woman I've seen. Almost my height. Dark hair, with a few dreads intertwined.  Dark eyes. Tattoos on her left arm and a faint one under her left eye."

     Cullen went about the ship searching  for the woman. Surely she would stick out from the crowd. After making several rounds with no success he decided to ask the ship's captain. "Ah yes, she's been tending to a few people below deck near the far left. A pregnant woman and an ill old man. She's trying to see them through the last leg of this journey. Why people travel in those conditions beats the piss outta me."

     Cullen made his way below deck to the rooms to the far left. The large door was open and a room big enough for 4 beds was before him. There, the Dalish woman was bent over a old man encouraging him to eat more soup. A pregnant woman was sound asleep with a warm towel on her forehead.  Cullen cleared his throat and caught her attention.  He was taken aback at how pretty she was. How did he not notice before? 

      "Pardon my intrusion my lady. I am Cullen Rutherford. You aided me a few days ago with my sea sickness and -"

     "Oh yes, how did the Witherstalk work out for you?" Her voice was confident but low in volume, as if she didn't want to disturb the air around her.

     "Well it worked quite well actually.  That's why I'm here. I wanted to thank you."

     "You're quite welcome."

She continued about her business as if he wasn't there. Cullen stood in the doorway suddenly feeling awkward.  "Ah, is there anything I can help you with?"

     She looked slightly surprised and thought for a moment.  "Well, if you could help me move this gentleman to the bed next to him I'd be very grateful. "

     Cullen did as he was instructed, helping the elderly man into the clean bed. He watched as she fussed over him and got him comfortable.  Finally she stood and walked out with Cullen at her heels.

"What's your name?" Cullen blurted out. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

     She stopped and stared at him searching his face before answering ,"Faewyn. And yours?"

"Cullen ". 

     "Why are you crossing the Waking Sea Cullen?"

He shifted his weight back forth trying to decide which would be the easiest answer. Finally, he decided on a partial truth for convenience sake. "There is a Conclave called by the Divine. Myself and my traveling partner are attending.  We work for the Most Holy." 

      If she was impressed,  she certainly didn't show it. In fact, she looked as if what he'd said was as basic as an everyday 'good morning '. 

     "It seems fate would have us on a similar journey Cullen.  I too,  am attending the Conclave on behalf of my clan." 

     "I didn't realize the Dalish were attending-not that they shouldn't,  I mean, uh, they certainly have a right -"

     "It was an honest thought and not an incorrect one. The Dalish were not given formal invitation.  However,  the Conclave needed scribes. I am fluent in Elvhen, Orlesian,  and the Common Tongue. I applied for the position and was accepted.  I will do my work, make some coin and tell my clan what news I can." 

     "I appreciate the honesty in you telling me this... but it almost sounds like...your clan is sending you to..spy."

     "My clan has been attacked 3 times now by rogue templars and rogue mages. The 3rd attack,  they were actually caught in the crossfires of the two sides. Trade has slowed due to the roads becoming so dangerous.  My clan is indeed spying,  because they want to know what's being done." 

     Cullen hummed in agreement,  "I can completely understand that." 

      Faewyn smiled softly and said,  "well I should check on my patients.  Thank you for your help Cullen. " 

     "Of course my lady, find me if you need anything. "

                       ***********************

Finally the ship hit land. Cullen stared at the shores of Fereldan.  A place he'd begun to wonder if he'd ever call home again. Cassandra was loading her things onto the waiting horses. Cullen thought briefly of Faewyn. He hadn't seen her since their last conversation.  He thought she may want to travel with himself and Cassandra for added safety.  He sought her out at the deck where everyone was unloading.  He couldn't find her. He saw the pregnant woman taking slow steps to a waiting wagon. "Excuse me, Miss! Do you happen to know where Faewyn went off to?"

     The woman heaved herself onto the wagon and took a deep breath. "She's able to slip in and out like a slinky cat. She's gone pretty boy. She took off as soon as the ship hit land." 

Cullen tried to hide his disappointment.  He mounted his horse and trotted up to Cassandra.  Faewyn was a pleasant passing thought. There was work to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little canon....a little canon altered as well.

     As her eyes opened she was greeted with darkness. Slowly, the dim flicker of torches came into view. The torches were mounted on walls around her but something thin and dark ran vertical through the flames. No. They were in front of the flames.... bars.  _I'm in a cell_ Faewyn thought to herself.  Suddenly her surroundings became clearer and she was chained to a hard uncomfortable chair. This was nothing compared to the searing hot pain she felt in her left hand. She was afraid to look. What had happened? Who had done this to her? She finally turned her head to see a bright, eerie green light coming from her palm. 

     Suddenly she heard voices, "the prisoner is awake Lady Seeker." Footsteps sounded down the hall and were approaching at a determined, steady pace. Three people approached the cell and entered. A man and two women. "Tell me why I shouldn't kill you now" the tallest woman said in a thick accent. "The temple is destroyed,  everyone is dead- except  _you."_

     Faewyn felt all the air leave her lungs. She couldn't wrap her mind around what was happening.  How did she go from the Conclave to being in this cell? Everyone is dead? How?

     'I, I don't know what you're talking about I swear it" her answer was greeted with a hard backhanded slap from the tall woman. "We need her Cassandra!" Finally the other woman spoke, her voice more gentle, Orlesian,  but her presence was ominous.  The man stood in the corner of the cell silent, and Faewyn couldn't quite see his face. 

     "How  _Dare_ You! I am a fucking healer! You think I did this?! I heal people not kill them! Why am I being held?! I don't even know what has happened!" Faewyn's fear was turning to anger. Her magic pulsed through her veins like she'd never felt it before. So powerful and strong. But as soon as she felt the magic rushing through her body, she felt an immediate drain. Not from the Seeker however,  but from the man in the corner. "Thank you Commander." The Seeker said. 

        _Wait, I've heard this woman before...and I heard her call someone that before...._ "Cullen?" Faewyn squinted trying to see the man. He took a step forward into the light. There was no mistaking him. Tall, broad shoulders, golden hair, and deep honeyed eyes. He gave her a flat, emotionless expression.  "Faewyn..... answer the questions. These are serious charges. The Divine is dead. Everyone who was in attendance at the Conclave died in the explosion. Demands for your execution are overwhelming. " 

     Her face paled. She felt like she would be sick. Her hand pulsed and she cried out in pain. Her body was overwhelmed.  "How could you people think I did this? Can't you see I'm in PAIN?! Why would anyone do this to themselves? She began weeping then when another thought slammed into her, "all those people are dead?" She shook her head and hung it low. Her body trembled with her silent sobs. "What do you remember?" The Orlesian woman asked. 

     "I don't know.... I-I was looking for parchment paper.... and then, nothing! Wait.... there was a woman???" She shook her head again. She was so disoriented she couldn't think straight.  

     "Regardless of what she knows or doesn't know.... we need her to stop this." Cullen said to the other two.

     "I agree. Cassandra, can we trust you to see her to the breach?" 

     Cassandra gave a curt nod, "of course. I will control myself." Then looking at Faewyn, "Come, its time you see what we need you to do."

                         **********************

 

     Cullen entered the small cabin for the 4th time that day. And for the 4th time he was given a brief and subtle greeting by the elven apostate, Solas. "Commander Cullen."

     "How is she?"

"The same I am afraid."

     "Have you learned anything?"

"I've used some wards and protection spells on her hand. It seems to have eased her discomfort.  However, I encountered something...interesting. "

     "Go on..."

"There was another ward already in place.  A kind of silencing spell. Her magic is very powerful.  Perhaps one of the most powerful mages I've encountered.  Its almost as if someone tried to subdue it, or make it more manageable.  Nevertheless,  it may explain how she survived the explosion and again when  trying to mend the breach. Her magic broke through this barrier and it protected her."

     Cullen sat on the otherside of the bed from Solas. "Could this be dangerous with the mark?"

 "I don't know. It's impossible to say until she wakes up. She may not have known that barrier spell was in place. Be prepared to help her deal with a lot once she wakes."

     "If she wakes.... Maker I feel awful about how we treated her. She almost died trying to close that damn hole in the sky, and that was after we had imprisoned her." Cullen dragged his hands down his face.

     When the soldiers said they found a single survivor.. Cullen was floored when he saw who they were carrying into Haven. Then the accusations flew. How could she have survived? What was that thing on her hand? Is that what caused the explosion? Thoughts of Kirwall flooded his head.... Anders had been a healer too. What were the chances he'd be duped by a mage healer twice?! 

"She will wake Commander. I can sense her in the fade. Her body is resting. When she wakes, you can make your amends."

     Cullen gave a grateful nod and exited the tent. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

     Faewyn made her way into the chantry in a daze. People were bowing to her. People were whispering about her. People were calling her the Herald of Andraste.  Now that one almost made her laugh. 

     She opened the door to the room she'd been directed to and walked in on a heated argument between the Seeker and the Chancellor she'd encountered on her way to the breach.

"Arrest her!"

He said as he pointed a finger at Faewyn. Cullen rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Maker you can't be serious"

"Chancellor you are outnumbered.  We will not arrest the Herald. She saved us from certain death and this argument ends now."

The Seeker ushered him out of the room and slammed the door.

     

     There were now 4 people in the room and nobody was sure who should speak first. Finally, Cassandra took the lead.

"Herald, I must first apologize for my treatment of you. I was angry, and looking for someone to blame. I see now that you were as much a victim as the rest of us. I hope you can forgive me... forgive all of us."

  Leliana and Cullen nodded in agreement. 

Faewyn looked at all of them for a few moments.  "I understand the reasoning behind your actions. I hope in the future you take more care in gathering information before making assumptions.  Especially after someone has shown you a kindness." She pointedly looked at Cullen with these words and shame crossed his face. Good. She thought to herself. 

     Introductions were made and Faewyn now knew everyone including Ambassador Josephine. They informed her of their plans, the formation of the Inquisition and asked her to join. After everything she had encountered how could she say no? 

     "Now that you know a bit about us, is there anything we should know Herald?" Josephine asked pleasantly. 

     "Well.... I am Dalish..obviously.  I've acted as a healer since I was a child. But I am also skilled in hand to hand combat. I am what shems call a hedgemage. My magic is not very strong but well suited for healing. My Keeper thought it would be important for me to learn self defense as well. At 17, I was sent to another clan who needed a healer. I was there for a few years when.... well, I had to leave. I've travelled about some.... that's all I'd like to say for now."

     Leliana was greatly intrigued by this information but decided against pushing for more.  

     "Solas, the mage who cared for you while you were asleep.... he mentioned something about your magic. You should speak with as soon as possible Herlad." Cullen said.

      "Are all of you going to call me that now? I'm Dalish.... I don't even believe in Andraste."

     Josephine smiled warmly, "ah... when we are in private we will call you what you wish. However, in public, we must maintain our appearances.  I hope you understand Heral- Faewyn."

     "I can compromise " Faewyn said with a faint smile. "I'll go see Solas now....." she gave a small nod and left.

     Cullen rushed out of the room ,"Faewyn wait!"

He grabbed her arm and she spun around looking surprised.  He dropped his hand and blushed at his forwardness. "I just wanted to.... I need to, well I, Maker's breath. Faewyn I am so sorry. I know Cassandra already apologized but I wanted you to hear from me as well. I've felt awful for days now... I saw who you were when we were on that ship and I let my judgement get clouded with fear. Please forgive me."

     She smiled at him. The first real full smile he had seen from her. "Thank you for that." She said softly and  she turned and walked away in search of Solas. 

Cullen stood slightly stunned. She didn't say much, but her smile....Maker that smile.....

      


	4. Chapter 4

      "Let me get this straight.  You're telling me someone placed a restraint on my magic and now its been broken?" 

      "Basically,  yes."

 Solas stood straight as a board with his hands clasped behind his back. Faewyn had come to him asking what he had discovered while she was unconscious.  

      "Why? Who would do that? And why? How did I not know when it was placed? And  _why?"_

     Solas couldn't quite maintain a straight face at the Herald. She was sitting in a chair with her feet crossed in the chair like a child would sit. She kept running her hands through her hair and pulling at her roots in frustration. 

"If you keep pulling your hair like that we'll have matching hairstyles soon enough."

It took Faewyn a moment to get the joke the usually serious Elf had made. 

He continued, " I'm not sure that I can answer these questions.  I can hypothesize that your magic appeared at a remarkably young age, which is plausible since it is so powerful.  Perhaps someone in your clan thought it safer for everyone, including you, to subdue it. Make it more manageable for a young child. This would explain why you have no memory of it. As to why the restriction was left in place.... that is more a mystery."

     Faewyn thought on this for a several moments. She had always thought her magic capabilities were minimal.  She was skilled in healing,  but most of that came from hundreds of hours studying herbs and being an apprentice to clan Lavellen's healer. When she was sent to the other clan, that was all she did in her role there. Clan Lavellen had thought so little of her magic capabilities that the Keeper insisted she be trained in hand to hand combat as well. All clan members were required to unless their magic was capable of protecting them. 

      "Well, I suppose the biggest worry now is how this affects me in the present and immediate future . Is there anything I should be aware of?"

"That is an excellent question. Your magic is far stronger than you realize.  I would recommend practicing your spells in a quiet and uncrowded place. You need to become reacquainted with your magic and your mana. You can potentially drain yourself much faster than before.  You must learn how to keep your spells contained.  Perhaps asking Commander Cullen to accompany you for added protection? If a spell becomes unmanageable,  he can stop it before it gets out of hand."

     Faewyn tapped her finger on her knee. Solas had been a tremendous help. His presence was calming even if he didn't have all the answers.

"Sounds practical. I think I will also write to my Keeper.  She must know more to this mystery. Plus, I need to tell her I'm alive and such." She added with a sarcastic eyeroll. 

"Yes, good idea.  _Dalen,_ all of this must be so much for you. This...role they've given you to play. Don't hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. "

Faewyn smiled sadly and said, "I don't.  I carry it in my hand." She flashed the mark at Solas and added, "but thank you Solas. For all of your help these last few days." 

     He gave a gentle nod and she left.

 

              *******************************

      After spending a considerable amount of time talking and laughing with Varric,  Faewyn made her way to the soldier training grounds. She saw Cassandra hacking and slicing away on a dummy. "I hope they have plenty of those on hand for you." She said as she saw the way the dummy crumbled under the heavy sword of the Seeker.

     "I have already complained to the Commander and the Ambassador.  These dummies are pitiful."

She wiped the sweat from her brow and turned to Faewyn. "Did you speak with Solas?"

"I did. I assume you know about what he discovered?"

"Yes. He told Cullen and I while you were unconscious.  Whatever I can do to help..... just let me know."

"Actually Solas recommends I practice my spells so I can get a guage on how it affects my mana and what not. He thought it would be smart to have the Commander accompany me for protection...in case the spells get out of hand. But you could help with that as well correct?"

     Cassandra frowned slightly and said, "Cullen is a far better teacher than myself. That's why he is the Commander. He has the patience and experience to teach others. I have the experience... but I have no patience. If he cannot then of course I will help. But for your benefit... you should ask him first."

     Faewyn smiled slightly . Cassandra was a straight forward woman. It demanded respect.  "Of course Seeker. I see what you do to dummies.... and they can't talk back."

"Ha ha Herald.  Cullen is on the other side of those tents speaking with some scouts about reports. You can't miss his tent."

     Faewyn made her way to the otherside and just as Cassandra had said, his tent stood out from the rest. It was large, tall, and matched his mantle. Did he do that on purpose?

      She could hear him speaking with a scout but the conversation didn't sound terribly important so Faewyn entered.

"Herald! I-uh, how can I help you?" The Commander stuttered while the scout bent down on one knee.

"Please , uh, scout..."

"Jim! Your grace!"

Faewyn pinched the bridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes tight. "Scout Jim, you do not have to bow to me. Please finish your business with the Commander, I'm in no hurry."

     "Actually we had just finished up. Jim, do you have any questions?"

"No sir!"

 The young man scrambled out of the tent. Cullen leaned against his desk and gave an exasperated sigh. He looked up at the tent ceiling as if thinking a silent prayer for patience.  "So, Hera, I mean Faewyn. I mean Lady Faewyn-"

"Please just Faewyn. I need something  to feel normal today."

Cullen gave a low chuckle and a smirk pulled at his lips. As he leaned against his desk and his scarred lip pulled up, Faewyn was truly struck at how handsome this man was.

"I can understand that. Did you speak with Solas?"

"I did...... it was interesting to say the least. He thought it would be good to practice my spells.  I asked Cassandra to accompany me for obvious reasons.  She thought you'd be better qualified to teach me and restrain my magic if need be."

Cullen scoffed,  "better qualified,  I'd say! Have you seen what she's done to those poor training dummies? Maker, they don't even talk back. I'd hate to see what she does to an actual person trying to study under her."

Faewyn was laughing now. She didn't truly laugh often. But Cullen's honest and horrified reaction to Cassandra teaching anyone was comical.  She also noted Cullen making almost the exact remark she had made to Cassandra.  Perhaps they would get on well together. 

     "Alright,  my schedule is free Commander.  Let me know when you're available ."

     "How's tomorrow morning? We can meet here and walk a ways out, away from all these new fans you've recently acquired ."

"Ugh don't remind me. I've been awake one day and I'm already tired of everyone.  The morning is perfect.  Thank you Commander. "

As she turned to leave Cullen added, "Faewyn,  get some rest. You'll need all your energy for the morning. " 

"Am I a recruit now?"

Cullen gave her a mischievous smirk, "no.... technically you outrank them. So you work harder." 

     Faewyn rolled her eyes and threw up a wave. But something in that honeyed tone made her think he wasn't joking.


	5. Chapter 5

      Faewyn woke the next morning as the sun was rising. She still felt groggy but there was no time to wait. She was heading to the Hinterlands in 3 days to meet with a Mother Giselle. She had to get in her training as quickly as possible.  

     She was somewhat apprehensive of what they would encounter on their trip. Yet, she was eager to be on the move and away from all of these people staring and whispering about her. She still could not fathom how they thought a Dalish Elf was a herald sent by their most beloved prophet. 

     She threw on some dark grey leggings and a green Dalish dress. The straps wrapped around her neck and came down to her feet but had long, wide slits that ran up both sides revealing her leggings. The outfit was practical for training or traveling.  She put on her foot wraps and they wound up her calves. Her toes still poked out but she didn't mind. Elves were more resistant to outside conditions than humans. Finally,  she placed a thin dark cloak around her shoulders. Not because of the cold, but because it made her feel protected for some silly reason. She wound her hair up in a messy pile onto her head and headed towards the training grounds. 

     Cullen was already fully dressed and waiting by the gates for her. He looked like he'd never went to sleep. "Have you been standing there all night?"

     "Good morning to you too Faewyn."

"Sorry, good morning Commander. I should probably warn you I'm not much of a morning person. If I had my choice, I'd sleep until noon."

     "For some reason I assumed all Dalish rose like daisies with the first sunlight."

Faewyn laughed softly,  "most do, but I always have to go against the grain."

     "I thought we could make our way to the otherside of the lake. There's plenty of open space for you to work in."

     "Yes, that would be fine Commander."

They walked in a comfortable silence for a few moments.  Faewyn walking off the path to take in the beautiful view of the Frostbacks. Cullen noticed and said, "is this your first time in Fereldan?"

     "Yes. I've traveled all over the Free Marches and Orlais. I even went to Rivain once. But never Fereldan.  Its beautiful. "

     "I've traveled a bit myself and nothing has ever compared to the landscape of Fereldan.  It has beautiful mountains capped in snow but it also has dark green valleys filled with wild flowers and rivers and of course the coastline as well..... its varied in its landscape I suppose."

     "You're from Fereldan no?"

"I am, but I've been gone for 10 years. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I got back."

      "I suppose the Marches are my home.... but Dalish move constantly .... I do miss the Sea."

     "This spot looks good" Cullen said as he stopped and lay down his sword on a rock. "So, I assume you know the basic elemental spells? Fire, lightning,ice......"

     "I do"

"Good. Start with fire. Make a small flame in your hand."

     Faewyn took a steady breath and instantly a small flame appeared in her palm. 

     "Alright, now take your staff and cast a fireball at that boulder in front of you. Just a small one."

     Faewyn, feeling confident she didn't set her whole self on fire, aimed her staff at the boulder. She felt a surge of magic run through her, it came on faster and stronger than she'd ever felt. A massive wave of fire burst from her staff. It engulfed the boulder and its flames licked and twisted out. Faewyn was so surprised she couldn't get the spell to stop.

     Suddenly the flames were being extinguished and Cullen looked exhausted. Faewyn thought it odd that a simple repelling spell could take so much out of him.

"Alright,  so we need to work on control...." he said more to himself than her. He ran a hand over his hair as he thought. After a few moments he said,  "the biggest challenge for you is adjusting your thinking.  The spells are the same for the weakest mage and the strongest mage.  Its the intent you put behind the spell that makes the difference.  Before,  your magic was weak,  it took everything you had to create a fireball.  Now, you must create a controlled fireball.  You can't throw every ounce of your magic behind these spells anymore or you'll burn down Haven."

     Faewyn nodded. She turned back to the boulder.  She felt her magic rising up but this time, instead of it rushing out, she concentrated on only using a small amount.  A large, but more controlled,  fireball flew from her staff.

"Better!! Try it again. "

This continued for sometime.  Cullen only had to subdue one other spell. His guidance was on point and thorough. They worked for several hours until the sound of the soliders beginning their drills ended their session. 

     "You're a fast learner Faewyn. Do you feel comfortable enough to use your magic in combat if necessary?"

     "I think so. I'll practice again tomorrow and I'll get in some sparring rounds today as well. I will always feel comfortable with my sword and dagger."

     They began to make the walk back into Haven.

     "Thank you for this Commander.  You were a tremendous help. Who would've thought... a templar and a mage.... training together!"

     " _EX-Templar_. But yes, it isn't something you see everyday.  I hope the Inquisition can help change that."

     Faewyn thought on his words. He seemed to be a good man. Not the man she had heard stories about in the Free Marches. "I have to say Commander, the Knight Captain of Kirkwall is nothing like I thought he'd be."

     "That could be good or bad" Cullen said dryly but with a mischievous look in his eyes. 

"Its good! Its good! I was actually stunned when I learned of your former position.  You've been so kind... even on the ship you went out of your way to show me kindness."

     "You went out of your way to help me."

Faewyn smiled at this and looked down in a shy manner. "Well, again,  thank you Commander."

     "There is something I would like you to do in return....."

      "Oh?"

"Please call me Cullen.... at least when we're alone or in small company. "

Faewyn blushed but a smile beemed across her face.  "Alright, of course... _Cullen_."

        She gave a small nod and turned and walked towards the city gates. Cullen stood for a moment or two watching her.  _Maker I made her smile like that again...._ he shook his head. He couldn't be thinking of her in that way. There were too many serious matters at hand for Cullen to be giving puppy dog eyes at the bloody Herald. He spun around to head back to the training grounds when he met the eyes of Cassandra. 

     She gave him a stern look, looked at the retreating Herald, then back at him. She raised her brow.....then gave a very small sly smile and turned and walked away. Cullen's entire face felt as if it were on fire.  _Maker of course she saw me staring in a single moment of weakness!_ He stomped off to his recruits and began barking orders.

                    ****************************

_Commander Cullen,_

_Our journey so far has been quite eventful.  We encountered a few rifts, which we successfully closed. The mages and templars are tearing one another apart out here.  Its shocking how they have demonized one another.  Its as if neither side can see the other as people anymore.  Their hatred has blinded them completely._

_It made me think of our training  a few days ago. How lovely and rare it truly was. These people's head's would explode if they had seen us._

_I meet with Mother Giselle tomorrow and I will send a report immediately after. I also haven't forgotten your request of reaching out to the horse handler here. We've located his farm, we just need to cut a path through._

_I hope things are running smoothly for you in Haven. And Cullen, I couldn't help but notice you didn't look quite like yourself the day I left. Please don't forget to take care of yourself. (Sorry but I am a healer afterall)._

_Sincerely ,_

_The Herald of Andraste and Agent of the Inquisition ...._ _Otherwise known as Faewyn._

_Faewyn,_

_I am pleased to hear from you.  About your successful journey I should say. I am glad you've closed the rifts and news is spreading quickly of the help you've given. I have to say... people love the Herald._

_Thank you for your concern over my health mother - I mean Faewyn. I didn't sleep well the night before you left. I do have trouble sleeping often so please don't worry in the future should you see me looking less than myself. Truly, I appreciate the concern._

_Please look after yourself. Remember not to believe half of what Varric says. It doesn't matter what he's talking about. Take half the conversation and disregard it. And be careful of Cassandra when she gets hungry. Or tired. Or mad. Just be careful of Cassandra._

_Sincerely,_

_Commander Cullen Rutherford of the Inquisition_

_Otherwise known as just Cullen._

 

_Cullen,_

_Mother? Really? You're lucky I was leaving Haven because had I been there I would've insisted you go straight to bed while I prepared some healing herbs. Creators I do sound like a mother. I will put together a little something for you when I return. It will help you sleep._

_Varric has SO many stories about him and the Champion and.....you. I can't wait until dinner tonight because he promised to finish the one he started last night.  Cullen.... you went to a brothel? The scandal....._

_Sincerely,_

_Faewyn, healer extraordinaire and occasional self appointed mother._

 

_Faewyn,_

_Herbs for sleep sound wonderful. I look forward to your return._

_Maker's Breath, I wasn't visiting a brothel for .....pleasure (please don't read into that too much) I was there on business! Damn Varric. And he exaggerates how tall and strong the Champion is. I'm taller. And stronger. Probably._

_My lady Faewyn... you may be the Herald of Andraste and you may be an excellent healer but you cannot force a man to bed because he looks unwell._

_Sincerely,_

_Cullen; bigger and stronger than the Champion._

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

      There was fire everywhere.  It was so hot yet Faewyn wasn't burning.  There were screams all around her but she couldn't make out who they were coming from. A woman could be heard the loudest.  _"Faewyn you must stop!!!!"_ Another scream could be heard, a man's??? Faewyn felt so confused.  All she could see was flames. " _Faewyn! Faewyn please! Faewyn!"_

"Faewyn please wake up!" Faewyn's eyes flew open and above her was Cassandra shaking her hard with concern all over her face. "Maker finally! Are you alright?"

     Faewyn was shaking amd she was covered in sweat. "I, y-yes. Just a nightmare. "

     Cassandra sat back onto her cot. The concern seemingly permanent on her face now. She looked Faewyn over. She must have noticed how she looked but said nothing, to which Faewyn was grateful.  

     "Is this something new to you? Since you got the mark?"

     "No. I honestly can't remember a time when I didn't have this nightmare. "

    "Its always the same nightmare?" Cassandra asked curiously. 

     "Yes. Fire everywhere.  People screaming...... a woman is ways screaming my name. I don't know...its strange and frightening."

       Cassandra hummed in agreement.  "Well, try to get some sleep Herald. Its been a long journey and we will finally be back in Haven tomorrow. "

                      ****************************

     The gates of Haven were a welcome sight to the small group. Varric practically ran to the tavern. Solas quietly took his leave to his cabin to meditate.  Cassandra went to Harrit to discuss changes to her armor.  

     Faewyn saw to her horse before anything else. She was stroking his long neck and speaking to him in Dalish. Her voice low and the words were of thanks to her traveling companion.  

     "He likes you."

Despite wearing all of that armor, the Commander managed to sneak up on Faewyn.

     "I wanted him for myself you know. But nobody could tame the bastard. Now he acts as calm as an old mare when you talk to him like that."

     Faewyn smiled at the horse and gave him a quick kiss on his soft nose. "He's still wild, you must learn to embrace it, not try to train it away."

     She turned to Cullen and was pleased to see that he looked better than when she had left. "How are you feeling? You look rested."

     "You waste no time getting back to work. I am doing better, thank you." 

     "I'd still like to prepare some of the herb mixtures I wrote of. Is it ok to bring them to you tonight? Perhaps after dinner?"

     Cullen smiled, "of course. I will see you then Faewyn" he gave a slight bow and walked away.

                  *******************************

     Faewyn was finally feeling relaxed. She debriefed the rest of the Inquisition leaders about her time in the Hinterlands. Mother Giselle had agreed to join their cause and gave good advice for their next move. Cullen wasn't thrilled about her going to Val Royeaux but finally conceded that it had to be done.

     After the meeting was out of the way,  she went to the bathing room where Josephine had kindly prepared a hot bath for her. She felt so beautiful after the using the Orlesian soaps that were provided.  

     She returned to her cabin and ate a small meal of bread, cheese and fruit. She dressed and decided to head to Cullen's cabin to deliver his herbs.

     She saw light coming from the window and knocked. After a few moments , she knocked again. Nothing.  _That's odd_ she thought to herself.  She heard a low muffled moan. She froze. She immediately thought about him having a woman in his cabin. The man was the most handsome man she'd ever laid eyes on. He could point at any woman in Haven and they would willingly jump in his bed. She was about to turn away and head back to her cabin when she heard a crash from the inside. "Cullen?" She knocked again. Silence.  "Cullen answer me or I'm breaking in!"  ~~~~ _Fine_ she thought to herself and she pulled up a crate and slid open a window. She shimmied her way into the cabin. 

     It took only a second before her eyes fell to the Commander slouched against his bed on the floor, his nightstand knocked over. It was as if he had attempted to get out of bed and collapsed. "CULLEN!" Faewyn ran over to his side and pulled his head back. He was burning up with fever. His body shook violently and she saw a bucket filled with vomit. She couldn't understand how she had seen him earlier that day and he was fine and now..... well this had to be one hell of a illness. 

     "Cullen I'm going to help you back onto the bed but I need you to try your best to get up.  She wasn't sure if he was understanding her or not but when she began to pull on his arms he shuffled his feet until he was half up, enough to get back onto his bed. "Good, now I'm going to take off your shirt. You're burning up with fever." She realized, however,  that it took everything he had to get back on the bed. He couldn't muster anymore energy to lift up for her to remove it.  _Fuck it_ she thought and she took the knife that must have fallen to the floor with the nightstand and cut the shirt open. 

     Faewyn took pride in always being a professional when it came to being a healer. But Creators this man was pushing the limits of her professionalism.  His body was perfection, scars and all.  _Get it together Faewyn the man is very sick!_ She found a few towels and dipped them in water. She used her magic to cool them. Then she placed them across his forehead and chest. 

     Then she placed her hands over his body and began trying to find the source of this illness. She was perplexed.  It didn't feel like a fever that she normally encountered.  His body was aching.... almost missing something. She decided to give a general healing spell with a concentration on his head as this seemed to be where the pain was the worse as far as her magic could tell. 

     When she was finally done she felt drained. She sat on the floor and leaned against his bed, her head resting on the edge of the mattress. She didn't want to leave him in case the fever came back. He was sound asleep and she listened to the heavy breathing. Soon, she too, had drifted off into a deep sleep.

                      *************************

     Cullen woke several hours later. He was cold. He looked down and saw his shirt was.... cut open? He had towels placed on him.  _What in Andraste's name happened?_ he thought. He remembered earlier that day he had felt fine. By midday however, he felt a migraine coming on. It was the most intense he'd had since he quit taking Lyrium.  He remembered being in his cabin trying to feel better before Faewyn came by. 

     Cullen rolled over to his side to get out of bed. He jumped when he saw the Herald sound asleep, slumped against his bed. Suddenly he realized what had happened to his shirt and where the towels had come from. He felt a warmth in his heart and yet a tremendous amount of guilt and shame that she had seen him in such a sorry state and then took care of him. He studied her for a moment.  She was beautiful.  She was unlike any woman he'd ever seen. 

     He stood up, careful not wake her. He scooped her up and placed her in his bed. He then grabbed an extra pillow and blanket and made himself a cot on the ground. He lay there for sometime before finally drifting off. He felt so much better.  Something else to thank this beautiful Dalish woman for. 


	7. Chapter 7

     Faewyn woke to the sun peaking through the window of the cabin. It took her a few moments to register she was not in her cabin. The previous night flooded her memory and she sat up quickly. Where was Cullen? How did she end up in his bed?! She looked around the cabin which looked immaculate.  The signs of distress that had been littered across the cabin the night before were long gone. A folded pillow and blanket were in a chair by the fireplace.  On the nightstand next to the bed was a note:

_Faewyn,_

_I cannot thank you enough for your help last night. I'm sorry you had to see me in such a sorry state. You have once again proved yourself to be an outstanding healer. I feel 10 years younger this morning._

_-Cullen_

 

She smiled as she folded up the note and placed it in her pocket. She made the bed and as quietly as possible, made her way out of the cabin. She didn't want to start any unnecessary rumors about the Herald sneaking out of the Commander's cabin in the wee hours of the morning,  although that's exactly what she was doing.

    She returned to her cabin and freshened up. She then decided to make her way to the dining hall for breakfast.  

     People began making their way into the hall and soon enough Varric had plopped down beside Faewyn and was telling her another story of the Champion.  Once she had finished breakfast,  she began making her way outside.

     She thought she  heard shouting and sure enough,  a large group had formed in front of the chantry.

 "Your kind killed the Most Holy!" A templar was standing at full height in the face of a mage. The mage did not look intimidated. 

"Your kind was supposed to protect her! You let her die!"

       "Mage bastard! You should all be punished for what happened!" The templar drew back to hit the mage but sudden a blur of red rushed the pair. The templar went flying backwards and hit the ground.

     Faewyn realized the Commander had intervened and had literally thrown the templar to the ground.

"ENOUGH!" 

The shocked templar pleaded, "but Knight Commander-"

     "That is NOT my title. We are not templars any longer!  We are ALL apart of the Inquisition.  If you cannot accept this, then I suggest you resign from your post before you are removed."

The crowd was silent.  Nobody dared to move or speak, fearing the roar of the Commander. "All of you! Get to work!"

      Suddenly the crowd dispersed quickly and it was just Cullen and Faewyn. He hadn't noticed her standing there as he was pinching the bridge of nose, squeezing his eyes shut.

   "Quite the display of your commanding abilities ."

Cullen's eyes flew open and his face flushed with heat. He rubbed the back of his neck as Faewyn noticed he did when he seemed nervous or unsure.

     "I'm sorry you had to see that. I have been trying to keep the peace between the mages and templars.  But as you can see, some are having difficulty letting go of old prejudices. "

     "Its alright,  I think most mages are used to such treatment unfortunately. "

     "Its not alright.  It shouldn't be the norm. You- you've never... had anyone disrespect you here? For being a mage or even for being Dalish?"

Faewyn paused for a moment reflecting and because of this minor pause Cullen immediately stood to full height and his eyes narrowed,  "who was it? Tell me who and I swear I will -"

     "No, no! I'm sorry I had to think about it for a moment but no, nothing like that yet. Creators you're quite intimidating when you're mad..you look like a Lion about to pounce on its prey."

Cullen huffed , "good, I'm glad you haven't had an issue. If you ever do, please come to me. I assure you, it would happen ONCE and when I was through with the culprit, nobody would dare try it again."

     Faewyn was touched by his protectiveness. " thank you Cullen. How do you feel? You scared me last night"

       Cullen dropped his gaze, " I uh, feel better thank you. You needn't worry about me Faewyn,  you have enough on your plate."

"Cullen you were on the floor. Your health is just as important as anyone else's. If something happened to you, who would I run to if someone makes fun of my pointy ears?"

     Faewyn cracked a small smile and soon Cullen's eyes crinkled with a small smirk, "alright,  if I feel bad again, I promise to hunt you down. But be warned Herald,  I  get a lot of headaches."

Faewyn smiled, "that's nothing I can't handle. You better keep your word Commander. " 

Cullen held up both hands in surrender,  "of course my lady. Now, I must try to whip these recruits into shape, I must take my leave."

     Faewyn watched as the Commander walked off.  Her thoughts were becoming increasingly more and more about him. She looked forward to receiving his letters, she looked forward to their talks. She looked for him across the training grounds hoping to catch a glimpse.

     She was headed into dangerous territory,  but there was no way to stop it. And she really didn't want it to stop anyways. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

     Over the next several weeks, the Inquisition gained more talented fighters. Blackwall, a warden warrior, The Iron Bull and the Chargers, Sera of the Red Jenny, and the political mage mastermind Vivienne. 

     However, it was another mage who Faewyn was most intrigued by. Dorian had sauntered into the picture dripping of confidence and sarcasm. A Tevinter mage who's wit was rivaled by none, had become fast friends with Faewyn. He had followed her back to Haven, burst through the war room doors unannounced,  and declared his support of the Inquisition.  

     Of course, some were suspicious of the man. Especially Cullen. Dorian was handsome- very handsome. He was smart and Faewyn laughed non stop when they were together,  which seemed to be all the time. Cullen was determined to get to the bottom of Dorian's agenda. 

     He saw him staggering out of the tavern late one night. Cullen thought this would be an excellent opportunity to speak with him because his wits would be dulled by the large consumption of alcohol.  

     "You're out late Dorian."

"Ah Commander (hiccup) Cullen! My, what do I owe for the pleasure of your company?"

      "I've noticed Faewyn has taken quite the liking to you. I am happy she has found another friend here in Haven."

 "Oh she is a darling isn't she?! We're such the odd duo. A Tevinter mage with a Dalish Mage.... oh how I wish my father see could that! The bastard."

       "With a Dalish Mage? So you two are....together?"

"Practically all the time. But she can't stay up as late as myself. I drink her under the table."

     Dorian stopped and looked like he might pass out face first in the snow. Then he turned to Cullen and tried to focus his floating eyes.

"Wait.... are you asssking if we're "together" together? I sssseee what's going on here. Faewyn will be so disappointed.  It doesn't surprise me though. I am irresistible. "

Dorian ran a hand down his body in an attempt to show just what he was talking about. Cullen's entire face turned so red he thought it might burst into flames. Again, Dorian's horribly unfocused eyes tried to zero in on Cullen's face. Then a flash of recognition went across his own.

      "Wait, no. Now I sseeee what's going on. You're jealous! Of me! Ha! Not that I blame yoouuuu. A handsome man like me, carrying on with that beautiful creature. "

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the sky. Ok maybe this conversation was a bad idea. 

     "Well, in that case, Faewyn will be so excited to hear this!"

     "No! I mean, I just thought.... well I was concerned your true agenda was to... nevermind."

"Seduce her then betray her?"

Dorian twisted the ends of his moustache and looked so smug Cullen thought he might whack him over the head. 

"I, wouldn't say  _that_ I'm sure she's capable of making good decisions but-"

     "Then you're just jealous of her new male companion. " 

Cullen huffed and didn't respond. They walked in silence for several moments until they reached Dorian's cabin.

"Commander, you've nothing to be concerned about. Faewyn is absolutely stunning. Unique like a unicorn. However, she is of no romantic interest to me. I would be more inclined to romance  _you."_

     Cullen stood for a moment trying register what Dorian had just said.  Suddenly he realized what he meant. Maker he is such a fool! Dorian began laughing and slapped the Commander on the shoulder. 

     "Well, thank you for your clarification.  Now I need to ask you two favors." Cullen said sternly.

    " ooooo sounds naughty"

     Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose, "it isn't  _Naughty_ For Maker's sake. First, this conversation never happened.  Second, you may not be pursuing her but you WILL protect her in Redcliffe. If anything happens to her I'm coming for your head."

     "Oooo I like tough men. Makes me feel all weak in the knees. In all seriousness Commander,  I will guard her with my life. Now, I need to lie down because I see two of you and I'm not in the mood for a threesome tonight."

     With that, Dorian stepped into his cabin and shut the door. Cullen walked back to his own cabin and replayed the conversation.  Although Dorian was extremely drunk, he still saw through Cullen. However, Cullen's fears were put to rest. He couldn't believe his paranoia.  He typically wasn't like this.  He resolved to not worry about such things. He wasn't going to let these distractions get in the way of his work any longer. 

     He took off his clothes and boots. He got into his bed and lay on his back willing sleep to take him. His last thoughts before he drifted off... 

_What the fuck is that Warden Blackwall here for and he better stop looking at Faewyn like he's imagining her naked everytime she enters the fucking room._

     


	9. Chapter 9

     Faewyn sat by the campfire feeling it's warmth but couldn't stop the occasional shiver that ran up her spine. No flame could make it go away.

     They were 3 days out of Redcliffe. 3 days since she had seen and lived through a horrific future that would happen should she fail. 3 days since she had seen the mangled face of the angelic looking spymaster. Or the red lyrium infected Varric, Cassandra, and Bull. 3 days since she had heard what became of the Inquisition,  the world, and  _Him._

" _he never got over your death. He blamed himself.  He said he should've made you go to the Templars. He brought what remained of the army to the walls of Redcliffe in a final stand. He knew he would not survive.  I overheard the enemy soldiers at times near my cells. They would speak of how they'd never seen such a warrior."_

The words of a hollow, sad future Cassandra replayed in her ears over and over. It was awful. It made her sick. 

     Dorian came and sat by her. He kept his gaze down when he said, "I know. I was there too. It won't happen. We will beat this Faewyn."

     Tears sprung to her eyes and she dared not blink out of fear they would fall to her cheeks. "What all of them went through.... because of my failure. Cullen...."

      "Will not see that future. Nobody will. It was horrific and ugly. Focus on the now and what we can do to be successful.  I don't like seeing you so troubled my darling."

       He gave her a one armed hug and kissed her forehead. Get some sleep my Dalish Dove."

        She smiled and walked to her tent. She would be back in Haven soon enough.

                    *************************

     "You made the mages our allies?! What were you  _thinking?!"_ Cullen's eyes were flashing in anger. His face stern and no sign of welcoming was in his words. As soon as Farwyn had entered the war room his eyes bore into her with an anger she had only seen him direct at recruits. She was a mixture of emotion. To see him, alive and well... but furious at her. Cassandra stepped in to defend her.

     "The Herald was sent to gain the help of the mages and she was successful in this task. The decision has been made and we must move forward in closing the breach."

     Faewyn was too angry to speak. She had been through a literal hell and cried herself to sleep every night because of it. Her stomach ached and nawed in pain from worry. Now she was being criticized by this man for her decision? It was all too much.  Her eyes became sharp and so black it was like staring into a starless sky as she stared at the wall straight ahead. Her tone professional and flat she said, "yes, I have done my part. See to it that you do yours and hope that I am not as critical of you as you are of me." She then turned her gaze to Cullen's.  Their eyes met and she gave him a look that he thought could have killed him if she'd willed it.  She spun on her heel and slammed the door behind her. 

      "Hmm. Cullen you always have a way with words." Cassandra said dryly and she walked out. Cullen sighed and threw his head back. Josephine tapped her board and said, "Commander, perhaps you should speak with the Herald. We must maintain good connections with one another"

Leliana added, "go. Make this better." 

Cullen sighed again, "yes I know." And he too left the war room. He got only a few feet when Dorian burst through the chantry doors in an overly dramatic fashion. "There you are you stupid brute!"

     "Excuse me?" 

"No. I won't excuse you. Are you completely blind? Or are you stupid? I'm not really sure which it is but either way you had better find her and get on your knees and beg for forgiveness because I am not afraid to blast you with a fireball the size of the breach!"

      "Dorian what are you talking about?"

"I saw Faewyn practically running out of Haven just now. I stopped her to ask what's the matter. All she could get out before she burst into tears was 'Cullen is so angry' and something about the mages. Now you listen to me you templar asshole, I have listened to that girl being tortured in her dreams by what she saw in Redcliffe and it all revolves around you. It broke her heart knowing what happened to you and this is what she is greeted with?! Fix. It."

      Dorian was out of breath by the time his rant was over. He smoothed his hair,  straightened his shirt and twisted his moustache.  "And have a good afternoon Commander" then he calmly walked away.  _Maker's breath_ Cullen thought. He never imagined he would just stand by and take that kind of verbal lashing from anyone other than a superior. But he deserved it and he knew it. 

Before Dorian disappeared from sight he shouted over his shoulder, "she was headed towards the lake."

      Cullen immediately began to make his way to the lake and started practicing his apology.  


	10. Chapter 10

      Cullen found her on the otherside of the frozen lake behind some trees. She sat on a flat raised rock that had been cleared of snow. Her legs drawn into her and she layed her head onto her knees. Tears were streaming down her face but she was otherwise motionless. 

       Cullen coughed to announce his presence then followed it with, "Faewyn, I need apologize. "

      "There's no need. I know I fucked up."

Cullen was unsure of how to proceed.  He wasn't expecting that answer. The amount of guilt he felt staring at her sad face made his stomach knot up. 

      "I-wait why do you say that?"

 "I should have brought the mages under the authority of the Inquisition.  Instead, I just handed them over their freedom when their leader clearly makes poor decisions. I just..... " she sighed and finally brought her head up but her gaze still downcast.  "I just couldn't do that. I am Dalish. Everyday of freedom is a small victory for us. How could I bring in another group to be ruled over?"

She ran her hands down her face trying to wipe away the tears. "Redcliffe..... that future... it was so horrible.  The things I saw and felt, and it will all happen if I fail. Not the Inquisition,  but if I fail. How did this happen? Why?" She shook her head as more hot tears streamed down her face. 

     Cullen twisted his hands together in nervousness.  He really picked the wrong time to get so angry with her. She had clearly been through the ringer. He had no idea what he should or if he should should say anything at all. Maybe she just needed to talk it out. 

     She stood up suddenly and walked out in front of him several feet. She was quiet but he could see her shoulders trembling from her silent sobs. Without another thought his feet took him forward, 1, 2, 3 steps and he was grabbing her arm and spinning her around. He took her face in his hands and pointed her head up at him so she could meet his eyes.

      "I don't know why. But I am glad its you. You are honest and caring and fair.... and you don't seek power. You are exactly what we needed. Forgive me for doubting you. I was foolish and I was the one who has fucked up here, not you." Then he pulled her in for a tight hug. He let her cry until her tears had run dry. They stood like this for some time before Faewyn finally pulled away. She stared up at him for a moment and smiled softly.

       "Thank you. I suppose the mage and Ex-templar were going to bump heads at some point right?"

Cullen chuckled softly, "yes well we had a good run. Maybe we can make this time around last  longer? Set a new record?"

     "Maybe next time I can be mad at you first"

"I think that's fair enough." Then his face flashed with uncertainty,  "are you... going to be alright?"

Faewyn smiled sadly, "I think so. I just know now that failure is not an option. I will give my last breath to this cause if it comes to it. That future cannot happen." Her eyes became hard and a determination that Cullen had not seen in her before sent a shiver up his spine.

     "Come, let's reconvene the war council and lay out our plans. " They turned to begin the walk back into Haven.

     Suddenly Cullen remembered his earlier encounter with a certain angry mage and added, "oh and when you see Dorian, tell him not to throw any fireballs at me will you?"

     Faewyn's brows shot up and then she began laughing loudly.  "I can't promise anything with Dorian. He is a passionate man. But I'll speak with him."


	11. Chapter 11

     Several days had passed, the mages had arrived and settled themselves in, the leaders of the Inquisition had readied their plans to close the breach. Now the day had finally come. 

      Faewyn laced her boots tightly and sat on the edge of her bed for a moment.  She twirled in her fingers her Keeper's ring. She had given it to her one night when she had had a particularly bad nightmare.  Faewyn's parents had died when she was very young. So young, she couldn't remember.  Her Keeper took pity on her and often acted as a mother figure to her. The ring was gold and a gold oval lay flat against her finger. Etched in the oval was Dalish ivy. It was simple  and elegant.  As a young child, Faewyn would often ask to wear it. On this particular night, her Keeper soothed her and took her mind from her nightmares by giving her the ring.  _"whatever happens, whatever darkness you find in the fade, or this world, or even within.... the light of love will always guide you."_

     Faewyn often caught the light reflecting off the ring and was reminded of this. It brought a smile to her face as she sat in her tiny cabin about to do the most important thing in her life. She took a deep breath and walked out the door towards the gates of Haven, where many people waited for her.

               **********************************

     The breach was sealed. Faewyn, the Inquisition and the mages had been successful.  The people of Haven rejoiced.  Drinks, music, bonfires, singing, laughter... it all filled the night sky. 

     Yet Faewyn watched from up above in front of the chantry. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was too easy. That something far greater still lurked. Several people had come to speak with her; Cassandra, Dorian, Varric, Solas..... none could lighten her mood. She was shaken from her thoughts by a light tap on her shoulder.

     She turned to see Cullen standing behind her. He was already grabbing at his neck. "Ah Faewyn. Sorry, I wasn't disturbing you was I?"

      She smiled warmly at him, forgetting for a moment why she was alone in the first place, all worry melting away. "No not at all. I was just enjoying the scenery. "  

      "You were successful.  Not that it surprises me. Nevertheless,  congratulations Faewyn.  You saved Thedas."

     "WE were successful Cullen. I couldn't have done anything without all this help."

      He smirked and then suddenly looked very nervous, "I uh, wanted to speak with you about your plans.... now that the breach is closed... will you stay with the Inquisition? Well, what I really mean to say is I've very much come to enjoy our time together... and, well, would you ever consider,  maybe now that things should calm down, I mean maybe we could-"

The sound of Haven's horn blasted through the night air. Cullen immediately became the Commander. "I'm sorry, I need to check on that."

    He began taking large strides towards the gate barreling through the crowds.  Faewyn couldn't keep up with him. By the time she did, he stood barking orders while soldiers scrambled to unify their forces. Cullen's face was grim as he met her eyes.

                      *************************

 

     


	12. Chapter 12

     It all happened so quickly. Cullen was about to tell Faewyn that his feelings were growing for her. That he wanted her to stay. Then the next moment,  he's being told a massive force was moving on Haven and under no banner. What could make it worse? Finding out that force was an army of mad red templars and led by his old friend Samson. Maker had this night taken a sharp turn for the worse.

     They had all fought with everything they had, the civilians fleeing to the chantry, which is where they all ended up once the dragon showed. Now they all stood, frightened,  injured, and unsure of their next steps.

     It had all seemed hopeless until the strange boy named Cole gave them insight into the Elder one's purpose. Once Faewyn realized it was her he wanted, she didn't think twice about her next move. Cullen went to protest but she immediately silenced him. " _I'm not afraid Cullen. This is my purpose._ " He fell silent at how serene she had become. 

     Chancellor Roderick knew of an escape route through the mountain pass. The people of Haven, led by the Inquisition,  would escape.  Everyone, but Faewyn. Leliana came to her and told her of the many mines that were littered across Haven. She told her there was an entrance to the north of the trebuchet. If she timed it well, she might be able to make it into the safety of the mine before the snow reached her. It was a long shot, but it was something. Dorian became hysterical when he realized what she intended to do, "don't you fucking dare think you're doing this alone!" But Faewyn took him aside and eventually they were hugging, Dorian with tears in his eyes told her goodbye.

     Cullen still couldn't fathom her not surviving this. She couldn't die. Not now. He watched her make her way to each person, Varric, Cassandra,  Bull, Sera, Blackwall, Vivienne and Solas. Finally, she turned to him. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. She grabbed his hand and placed a gold ring in it. " _I haven't the time to tell you the story of this ring and why it means so much. It was my Keeper's. It seems a waste to let it be buried under the snow."_

     They both knew what she meant by that. She took a shaky breath and added,  _"thank you for everything Cullen. Please don't forget me when you're an old, fat, married man with children of your own."_ His mouth ran dry. He couldn't think of what to say, she turned to leave but he grabbed her arm, gently by the elbow. He looked at her and said, "I will find you, I will always come for you. You fight to survive do you hear me? I'll come for you I swear it."

     She smiled sadly and squeezed his hand. The roar of the dragon could be heard outside. She withdrew her staff and her long sword and made her way to doors of the chantry. She stopped and for a moment Cullen thought she would turn around. Instead,  a black swirl of magic encircled her and the doors flew open as she streched out her hand then she walked out and with another flick of her hand the doors firmly shut. 

                    **************************

     He gave the signal and the snow from the mountain came crashing down. She did it. She saved them all. But nobody cheered. Everyone had seen what she sacrificed.  One by one they left the mountain side with tears fresh on their cheeks. The sounds of wails could be heard occasionally.  They continued their slow trek through the mountains.

      One person remained, looking over the place Haven once stood. He stood hoping to catch a glimpse of green light against the white snow. Tears dropped silently down his cheeks. In his hand, the small gold Dalish ring. He held it open carefully as if waiting for her to appear and pluck it out of his palm. But she never came. Finally, Cassandra came back for him.

"Come Commander, the people need you now more than ever. Do not let what she sacrificed be in vain."

     Cullen placed the ring in his pocket next to his brother's coin, scrubbed his face with his hands and began the walk through the pass.

            ***********************************

     Cold. White. Snow. Ice. These were all words Faewyn would be happy to never hear or think of again. She had spotted the mine shaft during her 'talk' with the Elder One.  _Stupid fucking name_ She muttered to herself.  

     She burst the wooden beams open with what little magic she had left.  She fell for what felt like an eternity until finally landing in soft fresh snow. She rolled as quickly as she could away from the opening to avoid the avalanche.  Then she must have passed out.

     When she awoke, it was nothing but darkness.  But a sliver of light had made its way through the shaft and she realized it was another entrance. She pulled herself to her feet, clutching her right side. She knew she must have broken a rib or two but didn't want to think about it. She felt the dry,  caked blood around her nose and some from her cheek. Her left arm was possibly fractured.  

     Despite knowing this, she put one foot forward,  then the next. She made it out of the shaft.  _Survive_ Cullen's words swirled in her mind. She had to survive. Her body should be screaming in pain, but the reason it didn't scared her more than the thought of pain. Her body was too cold. She was numb. 

     So she kept moving because it was the only choice she had.

             *********************************

     Cullen sat near a fire trying to warm himself. It had been hours since Haven fell. Hours since he gave the signal that ended Faewyn. Everyone was in terrible spirits. Dorian had disappeared to the farside of camp in tears. The others were grouped around the fire looking hopeless.  Cullen couldn't take it. He had to do something.  He couldn't accept this was it. He had to look for her. He had to give her the small chance of survival.  He thought deep down this was really him being stubborn and in denial.  Maybe that's exactly what it was but he didn't care. He stood up and began walking away from the camp. 

     "Commander where are you going ?" Cassandra asked with concern in her voice.

     "To look for the Herald."

"Commander....."

Cullen turned quickly and faced Cassandra.  His eyes hard, "I will not sit here and mourn until her body is in front of me. If there is the smallest chance she is out there I will not waste it!"

     She looked at him sadly and said, "I will go with you. If the Maker saw anyone through this, it should be her. "

                  ***************************

     How long had she been walking? Hours? Days? She didn't know. Everything was becoming hazy. Her thoughts,  her vision, her hearing.  All of it was fuzzy and unclear.  She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep. She thought she saw a light ahead of her. As if the moonlight was reflecting on a piece of shiny silver. Light.  She hadn't seen much of it except the moon when the clouds would open up for just a moment or two long enough for the moon to shine down.

     She took another step, but this time her knees buckled, her body giving out. There. That little light again, just a flash..... she fell face first into the snow. This was it. She would die here. She was alright with it. She was too tired to care. She thought she heard something..... suddenly she was being lifted.  Something warm wrapped around her, her eyes cracked open.... silver metal... red wrapped around her body, golden eyes....Cullen.  

     "Y-you c-c-came f-for me" she managed to mutter.

     "I'll always come for you Faewyn." 

He squeezed her tightly to his chest as he cradled her broken body against him. He carried her back to camp and placed her in the healers tent. Cassandra had ran ahead of him to get the healers prepared,  but no warning  could have prepared them for what they saw. As soon as Cullen placed her on the cot, they cut away her bloodied clothes. Cullen normally would have looked away but he needed to see her condition.  

     His blood ran ice cold when he saw. She was black and blue everywhere.  Her right side was purple. Her left arm was noticeably broken, her face cut and bloodied. But the largest cause of concern was how incredibly cold her body felt. 

      The best healers (including Solas) worked tirelessly for hours. Finally,  she was washed and free of blood, in dry clothes and under blankets. A heating spell had been placed on the tent. She was still sound asleep.  Cullen kept watch the entire time, refusing to leave her side. He would be there when she woke.

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

     Fire. It was everywhere.  There were screams. There was smoke. Flames licking and growing all around.  It was like every dream she'd had before. But something different happened this time.

      A face emerged from the flames, "Faewyn you have to stop this!" A woman, who looked just like Faewyn, but with lighter hair and freckles dotting her cheeks, pleaded with her.  The woman's clothes had already caught fire and she was seconds away from being consumed by the flames. 

      Faewyn reached out to her. But her hand.... it was so small. It was a child's hand. She realized in this dream, she is a child. The woman screams as the flames consume her completely.  Black smoke fills the air. No..... its magic.  It swirls and feeds the fire. But Faewyn doesn't burn in it's flames. 

 

 

        Her eyes flew open and she heard a distant scream. A familiar golden face peered down at her, face etched with worry. "Faewyn wake up, its alright now!" Finally she realized the scream wasn't distant,  because it was she that was screaming. 

     Cullen had her by her shoulders trying to pin her in place. She finally stopped and looked around. Where was she? It was a tent, that much was obvious.  Then a crash of the memories that accumulated over the last few days came back to her. The Elder One. Haven. A DRAGON. She suddenly became eerily still. 

     "Cullen?" She managed to squeak out. He sighed with relief and let go of her shoulders,  sitting back in his chair.  "Yes, its me. How do you feel? Do you remember what happened?"

     "Yes. I remember everything.  I'm hurting." She winced in pain as she tried to sit up.

     "Don't move! You had some broken bones. I'll get the healers-"

     He didn't get to even stand up before a flood of healers came through the opening of the tent. "We heard screaming, is she ok Commander?"

     "Yes, she had a bad dream I think but thank the Maker she's awake now. She's in pain."

     The head healer gave a nod and began to work on Faewyn. Cullen turned to walk out but felt the faintest pull on his hand. Faewyn looked at him with tears in her eyes.

      "Cullen......I.... thank you." She had so more she'd like to say. So much more she needed to say, but nothing seemed adequate.  He gave her a small smirk and said, "you needn't thank me." Then turning to the healers he said,  "take care of her " and his eyes became hard and his voice had an edge of harshness that made the healers all eagerly nod in agreement.  

     He made his way out of the tent. She was awake, she was  _Alive._ He looked to the sky and said a silent prayer of thanks to the Maker. He had left many pleas and prayers of Cullen's unanswered. But she was here now. If that meant none of his prayers would ever be heard again, he would be just fine with that.

      


	14. Chapter 14

     Several days had passed and the Inquisition and Haven's survivors were ready to move. The Herald insisted she was well enough to travel and said she knew what direction to take them all in. Nobody argued with her or questioned where they were going. She had become their leader and she didn't quite realize it yet.

     She led the pack of people through the mountains and snow. She kept a grueling pace ,especially for someone who had been so injured just mere days ago. She wouldn't slow down. When someone would note that the elderly and young couldn't keep up, she ordered them onto carts for the healthy to pull. She picked up a small child no more than two years old and began to carry him herself because he couldn't keep up and his mother was too injured to continue carrying him. 

     Inspired by her constant attention to those around her who needed help,  all of the scouts, soldiers and healthy survivors began looking for someone to carry or pull or push through the mountains.  

      Cullen however, noticed Faewyn's eyes stinging with tears as she fought to hold them back. Her broken ribs causing her pain with every step she took with the boy at her hip. Cullen, already carrying a girl of around 6 on his back walked up to Faewyn, and scooped up the boy in his left arm. 

      "You're already carrying a child I've got him-"

"This isn't up for an arguement.  I'm helping you." His tone was stern but his eyes were gentle as he gave her pleading gaze. She gave a soft nod and relented. He gave one of his lopsided smirks and carried the children off to the side of the caravan of people. He showed them the different mountain peaks and told them the different names. He told them Fereldan folktales that made them giggle. Faewyn watched in quiet admiration.  He was awesome with children,  though he'd probably never admit it. 

     Several more days passed and they still made their way through the mountains.  Solas assured her they were headed in the right direction.  His counsel was something she had begun to rely on. He was wise and discreet. Something she appreciated.  Cullen would see them speaking closely, off away from the rest of the group and would feel a sharp heat seize his chest. He would immediately disregard it and concentrate on putting the next foot forward .

       Then came a day when the Herald came to a mountain ledge and fell to her knees, Cullen sprinted to her thinking she'd finally collapsed in exhaustion.  What he saw, was a massive,  sprawling fortress before them. The look of relief on her face was hard to describe.  She jumped to her feet and threw her arms around him and laughed as tears fell down her face. "We did it! Its here!" The people cheered and Cullen squeezed her as tightly as he'd dare and whispered,  "no Faewyn,  _you_ did it." She was blushing when she finally pulled away. "I'm sorry if that embarrassed you. I'm just so HAPPY." She ran off to talk excitedly to Solas and Dorian who also looked more relieved than anyone had ever seen them. 

They made it.

Skyhold. 


	15. Chapter 15

     And so she was made Inquisitor.  Not that anyone but her had been surprised.  She struggled at first with the news. "I'm Dalish and a mage, how will this ever be accepted?" 

       "It  already has been accepted" Cassandra said, as she swept her arm over the crowd of people eagerly awaiting her acceptance of the title.  She took the sword and looked to the crowd feeling unsure. When her eyes met Cullen's he gave her a wink and raised his voice and rallied the people into a near frenzy. Finally, he raised his sword and shouted, "I give you, your INQUISITOR!!!" Faewyn was floored at the cheers and shouts the people gave her.  But deep down, if she dared admit it to even herself,  it was the approval of Cullen that meant the most. 

     They immediately got to work on repairs to the ancient fortress.  Rowan was given a large room at the tallest point of Skyhold. It was a beautiful view, but the room was big, empty and cold. She and a few servants cleaned the floors and she placed her cot against the wall. The room did have a fireplace which was lovely. Josephine had a large brass basin sent to the room for her to bathe in. Another luxury she didn't feel was necessary,  but when she looked at her cot, she felt more like one of the team rather than some figure that required special treatment. 

      They set up a new war room at the end of a long hall that extended out from what was becoming the ambassador's office. A huge table was placed in the room and they immediately began laying plans for their next steps. Cassandra would occasionally still pop in for a meeting,  but generally she spent her time training and reading when she thought nobody was looking.  

      Vivienne felt it necessary to get a new wardrobe for the newly appointed Inquisitor as quickly as possible.  "No one will take you serious wearing those worn adventurer outfits my dear. Your position demands respect so you must dress the part."

      Tailors came soon after and Josephine and Leliana arranged an ambush in Josie's office. Faewyn never saw it coming and once she did, it was too late.

      Now she was in just her breast band and underwear, with her hair piled on her head  standing on a pedestal while the tailor mumbled in Orlesian about how she was much taller than the Dalish women he'd seen and a bit more shapely.  He apparently had no idea she could understand him. She was reaching her maximum level of tolerance when the ambassador's door flung open. The heavy steps that followed gave way to who approached.  

      His face buried in a report, he began, "Josephine, have you seen Leliana? I need her to send scouts to the... ** _MAKERS BREATH!!!!_** " Cullen took a step backwards and turned his face away from Faewyn and  looked down. "Inquisitor!! Please forgive me I had no idea! I thought-well I needed, I'd never try to see, not that I wouldn't want to-but not like that! Oh sweet Maker what am I saying?!"

       The tailor was frozen in a crouched position near Faewyn's legs with a very confused look on his face. Faewyn, Leliana,  and Josephine all rolled with laughter,  unable to catch their breath. Cullen's entire face was blushing and Faewyn made it even worse when she said, "Creators Cullen I'm not  _naked_ and even if I was,  I am Dalish. I could walk around in the nude all the time and think nothing of it."

      This sent Cullen into another rambling, incoherent stream of words. Faewyn giggled and said, "Cullen please, you needed to speak with Leliana.  Go ahead! Pretend I'm not even here.  We can't let my need for a new wardrobe interrupt our work. Inquisitor's orders." She was quite enjoying watching him squirm. She also noticed that despite his best efforts,  he slipped a few glances at her.  

     He quickly handed the report to Leliana and mumbled, "scouts are needed." and he quickly (almost sprinted) to the door.  Faewyn called out, "oh Commander!" He turned around and with an adorably flushed face he said, "yes Inquisitor?"

      Faewyn winked and said, "have a good day". 

He rubbed the back of his neck,  "Maker's breath" and he flew out the door. Everyone,  including the tailor doubled over in laughter. 

      


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING *  
> descriptions of physical/domestic abuse.

     Solas was sorting through books in the rotunda.  Some were old books recovered from various places in Skyhold. Some were books he'd managed to save while fleeing Haven. Others were books Josephine had begun stocking what was to be Skyhold's library. 

        Faewyn approached him with some hesitation.  What she was about to tell him was extremely personal and something she wasn't even sure she really wanted to know. Nevertheless,  she took a shaky breath and cleared her throat to get his attention, 

     "Good evening Solas"

"Good evening Inquisitor.  Is there something I can help you with?"

     "Actually,  yes. Well , at least I hope so." She bit her lip nervously and pretended to look busy by looking through a stack of books.

     "Dalen?"

"Yes , I'm sorry. I trust that what I speak to you about stays between us?"

     "Of course" Solas was giving his full attention now, standing straight with his hands clasped behind his back.  

     "Since I can remember,  I have been haunted by the same nightmare,  again and again. When I was unconscious after Haven, I had it just as all the other times before, but then I saw more. As if the dream continued longer than it ever had. I think it is connected to my magic being restrained all these years. Do you have any advice?"

     Solas rubbed his chin as he stared at her carefully.  "Dalen, sometimes it is better to not have all the answers. Sometimes,  the past can be painful. If you decide to dig into this further,  be prepared for answers you may not like."

     Faewyn swallowed deeply. Her throat was running dry and her hands shook slightly. "I feel that I need to know. Can you help me?"

     "I will help you Faewyn." He gave her a small vial of green liquid. "Take this before bed.  It will help you sleep.  I will find you in the fade. We will walk this path together and find answers."

      Faewyn took the vial and examined it. "Thank you Solas. I appreciate your help."

      She turned and walked to her bedroom.  

 

        ***************************************

        Faewyn was walking through a Dalish camp. Large caravans filled the open green meadow. The trees around the camp swayed softly in the cool breeze. It felt so familiar.  

     Dalish people went about their business as if she was invisible.  She was confused as she walked in front of people and they seemed to move through her none the wiser. 

     "It is a memory that the fade is replicating. " Solas appeared next to her and instinctively knew what she was questioning.  

     "I think this is my clan. But I don't remember being at this place." She turned in circles looking for something familiar.  Her eyes finally found the woman she'd seen in her last nightmare.  The woman who looked like her, but lighter with the sprinkling of freckles on her face. "I know her! She was in my dream!" Faewyn stepped closer and noticed a small dark headed girl playing with a small doll. The woman called out to her, "Faewyn my girl! It's almost time for bed sweetheart. "

      The little girl looked up, "ok Mamae."

Suddenly the fade began to shift, everything dissipating into a green whirl. Then another scene began to appear. This time, Faewyn and Solas were inside a caravan. It was large enough for 4 or 5 people to stand and walk about. A large cot was in one corner and a sleeping young Faewyn lay in the middle. On the other end, Faewyn's mother and a man she assumed was her father were arguing.

"Do not lie to me Minea, I see the way you look at him!"

"Do you hear yourself? You're accusing me of sleeping with him  because of the way I looked at him?! You're drunk Boren, go sleep it off"

      "I will not tolerate you going behind my back. I saw his letter Minea! You lying fucking whore!"

       He slapped her then. She cried out waking the sleeping young Faewyn. She sat up in her bed, eyes wide with fear, holding her small doll. 

     "Maybe I fucked him because he actually treats me well Boren! Maybe he isn't a drunk who beats his wife!"

       "Enough!" He threw himself atop her and began to rain down punches. Faewyn's mother tried to deflect them but was powerless to do so. Young Faewyn began screaming and crying, "papae no!"

      He did not hear  her.  She reached out her hands to him as she screamed for him to stop when suddenly a surge of magic flew from her fingertips in the form of fire. It exploded all around the caravan, quickly lighting it into hot flames.

     Her father screamed as the flames quickly engulfed him. Her mother, still rocked by the hits she had absorbed began to cry out,  "Faewyn you must stop this!" Her clothes began to catch fire. Young Faewyn sat in her cot, reaching out to her mother. Her tiny hand unable to stop the stream of flames exploding from her fingertips. Her mother was consumed in the flames. The caravan burned around her and she sat in her bed clutching her doll. Tears staining her ash covered  face,  but she was not harmed  by the flames.

     Solas shook Faewyn and shouted, "you must wake now!" 

           **************************************

 

     Faewyn bolted straight up in her cot. The room was dark and cold. White moonlight poured in through the many windows of her giant empty room. She sobbed into her hands and trembled all over. 

     A soft pair of footsteps made their way up her stairs. She knew who they belonged to. 

     "Dalen?" Solas sat on the edge of her bed and sighed. "The past is filled with pain for many. Although you may not accept it now, I must point out that it was not your fault. You were barely a child. Your magic was powerful and provoked by your father's actions."

     "I burned them" she whispered. Her sobs coming to an abrupt end. Her voice flat and hollow. "I watched them burn and I did nothing to stop it. My Keeper must've placed the magic restriction on me afterwards to protect the others. I was  _Dangerous "_

     Solas patted her hand, "your magic manifested too soon. Nobody that young would be capable of managing their magic. And yours..... well it is more than average. It is extremely powerful. The past is done and gone Dalen. All we can do now, is do our best in our futures."

     He stood and bid her goodnight.  She sat in bed for sometime,  afraid of closing her eyes and seeing her parents faces all over again. Finally,  sleep took her, and she didn't dream again that night.

              ********************************

        Solas quietly exited the door that led into the main hall just as Cullen was exiting the door from the opposite side. He looked at Solas and to the door, and Solas could see he was putting together a scenario that simply wasn't true.

     "The Inquisitor has been suffering from nightmares.  I offered her my aide. Nothing more Commander, I assure you. You may want to check on her in the morning.  It has been an eventful evening.  Do not tell  her I mentioned it."

     Cullen nodded and looked somewhat unsure. Solas walked back to his room. And began sorting  his books again. 

          **************************************

     The next morning during the war council,  Faewyn looked very much as she did everyday.  A simple tunic with delicate Dalish embroidery,  dark leggings and over the knee boots. Her hair was down today. She looked as lovely as always. But there was a strain to her  smile, a smile that never reached her eyes. And speaking of her  eyes,  she had faint circles underneath them. 

     Cullen was concerned,  but unsure of what to say. When the meeting was over he said, "Inquisitor,  a word please. "

     "Yes Cullen?"

"When you have a chance, could you stop by my office? There's something we need to discuss. " 

     "Of course. I'll be by in about an hour."

 

     Almost exactly an hour later, Rowan knocked on Cullen's door. 

     "Enter!" He was shuffling a massive stack of reports on his desk. He looked up and his eyes brightened, "ah Inquisitor!"

"Please Cullen we are alone. There's no use for titles at the moment. "

     Cullen chuckled,  "of course,  my apologies Faewyn."

     Then he became much more serious. "The reason I asked you here.... well... as leader of the Inquisition..." he closed his eyes and sighed deeply, "there's something I must tell you."

     Faewyn was curious now. He seemed nervous. "Cullen you can tell me anything. "

He smiled softly, "right, thank you. As you know lyrium is the source of Templar abilities.  Some go mad without it. But all eventually lose their minds to lyrium. You should know.... I no longer take it."

     Faewyn stood in stunned silence. Suddenly,  it all made sense. When she found him in his floor just hours after being fine and healthy. The way she'd see his hands tremble just slightly during meetings. How some days he was pale with shadowed eyes. All this, she contributed to his extreme work ethic. But now.....

      "Can it kill you?" She managed to squeak out.

He smirked, "it hasn't yet" he said sarcastically. 

     "Cullen it isn't funny! You could  _die._ I can't-we can't- lose you!" 

     He looked touched by her outburst. He walked around his desk and stepped closer to her,  "Cassandra has known for months, before Haven even. She is monitoring my progress . Should I become unfit to serve, she will find a replacement. " 

  "I'm not worried about who the Commander will be I'm worried about YOU." Tears filled her eyes and she furiously wiped them from her  eyes before they could fall. Cullen felt a stab of guilt for worrying her.

     "I watched what the order has become. Unspeakable things done to mages and templars alike. I will not be bound by the Order. Can't you see why I can't be apart of that life?" He said softly. 

     Suddenly she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head into his chest. He stood stunned for just a moment before wrapping his large arms around her.  

       "Of course I understand.  I think you're very brave Cullen. I just worry for you."

He smiled into her hair, "you needn't worry. I get terrible headaches and fevers, but rumor has it, the Inquisitor is an excellent healer." 

     She laughed softly and pulled herself from him. A space that suddenly felt very empty. "I want to help.  Promise me you will tell me when you're hurting. No. Its an  _order_ Commander."

     He gave her his lop sided grin and  said, "yes Inquisitor. "

     She smiled and turned to leave. 

"Faewyn!"

     "Yes?"

 "At Haven... you gave me your ring. I haven't returned it. I'm sorry. I have it here." He pulled a chain out from his shirt where the golden ring hung. Faewyn was so taken aback, touched really,  that he had been wearing it, that she shook her head  'no'. "It was a gift. I like where it is now." She smiled one of her rare teeth baring smiles,  and walked out the door.

      Cullen felt his heart race like he always did when he saw that smile on her face. "Maker's breath" he mumbled as he tucked the ring and  chain safely back into his shirt.  


	17. Chapter 17

     When Varric had told her he had someone for her to meet, someone who could help, she wasn't sure who or what to expect.  Varric had an intricate system of contacts, associates,  friends, and even friendly enemies (however that's possible). Meeting the Champion of Kirkwall was not someone she had considered. 

     If Cullen was the golden knight of fairytales, the Champion was the dashing and dark rogue. With his messy black hair and piercing blue eyes,  he was striking. The red smudge of..... whatever it was, across the bridge of his nose gave him an air of danger. 

      He was charming. Where Cullen often stammered and rubbed his neck or pinched the bridge of his nose when he was anxious, the Champion.... well did he ever get anxious? He was the definition of smooth. Faewyn found herself quite comfortable in his company almost immediately.  

                       ************************

     Hawke had just finished a successful conversation with the newly appointed Inquisitor Lavellen.  He liked her. He could see why Varric had written so glowingly of her. She was beautiful,  in her wild Dalish way. She was intelligent,  quick as a whip actually.  She would do well in this position.  

     He was deeply immersed in thought when he caught a flash of red and gold. "Well well, long time no see Knight Commander Cullen."

     Cullen froze with his head still down looking at his report. Only his eyes flashed up, "Hawke. Its just Commander Cullen. I'm no longer apart of the Order."

     "That's what Varric tells me. He also said your hair is different. He wasn't joking about either I see."

      Cullen sighed, "why are you here Hawke?"

"Is that how you welcome the help of an old friend? Really Cullen I'm hurt." He said as he smiled wide and leaned casually against a wall. "If you insist on cutting to the chase, I'm here to help Faewyn, or excuse me, Inquisitor Lavellen.  We made fast friends. Pretty one isn't she?"

     Cullen immediately stiffened and felt his left hand instinctively clench.  Maker he hadn't changed a bit. Always on the lookout for the next beautiful woman to conquer. And the women were always eager to fall for his charm.

     "The Inquisitor is not one of your tavern girls Hawke. You will respect her."

     "Hhhmmmm so Varric wasn't joking about that either."

     "What are you talking about?"

  

     "Oh just that he thinks you've got eyes for her. And now I agree with him. You got awfully tense as soon as I mentioned her."

       "I have nothing but respect for her. She has sacrificed a great deal for our cause."

     "Yes, she's probably ready to have a little fun. It can be so stressful when the world is put on your shoulders.  I know  _exactly_ how it feels. Perhaps I'll go find her and ask her to join me for a drink so we can talk...."

     "Enough! I don't know what game you're playing now Hawke but what Faewyn chooses to do with her time is her choice. Now, unless you wish to help me decide troop movements I suggest you be on your way. And avoid Seeker Cassandra.  Don't say I never did you any favors."

     Cullen stomped off to his office.  Hawke smiled to himself and muttered out loud, "and I'll be sure to return that favor Commander. "

                ********************************

 

       _Commander Cullen,_

_Crestwood is wetter than the Storm Coast. It rains nonstop here. Poor Dorian. He is convinced Fereldan only has two types of weather; rain and snow. He says he is losing his 'golden sunkissed shade and  is turning a dull yellow due to lack of sun." He is currently reading a book on magic and beauty.  He's hoping to find  a spell that will tan his skin._

_I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I suppose I'm a bit bored. Maybe homesick? I guess its a good thing I'm already missing Skyhold considering we've only been there a few weeks. Maybe I just miss the people..... It feels strange to wake up and not hear you barking orders at our poor recruits._

_Hawke and Varric provide great entertainment.  Their stories are unbelievable.  Really,  I don't believe half of them. But they are great stories and they have myself and Dorian rolling in laughter. Blackwall is quiet and brooding in the far corner of camp as we speak.  Sometimes I catch him staring at me. I wonder what he's thinking about?_

_Hawke has told me a few stories about you in Kirkwall.  I particularly liked the one about Isabella trying to seduce you. From what I understand,  she's quite beautiful.  Why did you decline her offer? Sorry, you don't have to answer that. I'm just being nosey.  And bored._

_I hope you're feeling alright.  Please make sure to eat and rest. We meet this mysterious friend of Hawke's tomorrow.  I'll report as soon as I can._

_-Faewyn_

 

_Faewyn,_

_Please tell Dorian that when we have the chance, we can send him to other parts of Fereldan that actually see the sun. Surely he enjoyed the Hinterlands? I can only imagine what he'll look like if he does find such a spell and it goes wrong._

_I admit it brings a smile to my face to know you miss hearing me yell in the mornings.  Perhaps I can replace that image with another one when you return? I love to play chess and I officially challenge you to a game upon your arrival.  Perhaps then when you leave again, you'll miss more than the sound of my bellowing at incompetent recruits._

_Maker I can only imagine what Hawke and Varric are telling you all. Only believe a fraction of what they say. In regards to Isabella..... yes she is beautiful.  And it wasn't easy turning down her proposition.  However,  Isabella always has a reason behind her actions. To put it bluntly, I feared some ulterior motive or that she would rob me blind. Besides, I'm not one for making a habit of one night stands. It just not me I suppose._

_I know exactly what Blackwall is thinking when he stares at you because I've seen him stare at you in that way before. But because of my strong Chantry background, and the upmost respect I hold for you, I shall not divulge that information.  However I will say he's a bastard for those looks and thoughts._

_I've had a few hard days to be honest. My headaches were severe and causing nausea.  However, your teas and balms have been a tremendous help. I look forward to your return Inquisitor._

_Your Commander,_

_\- Cullen_

Faewyn looked over the letter again and again and again.  The last part, "your Commander " never failed to send her heart pounding.  

 


	18. Chapter 18

     Faewyn tapped her foot impatiently while she waited for the advisors to join her in the war room. She had sent reports ahead of time to all three of them so they would be aware of what news she learned while in Crestwood and the Western Approach.  She immediately went to the Western Approach,  which had not been planned, but given the urgency of the situation Warden Stroud described,  she figured it was best to investigate sooner rather than later. 

     Finally,  they filed into the room and took their usual spots around the war table. A quick review of the reports was given and soon the discussion was in deep.

     "Adamant Fortress has withstood hundreds of years of battles. This will be no easy task." Cullen said grimly. "However, your army has grown tremendously since Haven and many skilled fighters have joined our cause. Perhaps with the  right battle strategy,  we could stop the Wardens."

     Faewyn nodded in agreement,  "we should review every battle fought at Adamant. Learn from the mistakes of those in the past. I am sickened at the thought of fighting the protectors of Thedas. But they have truly been blinded by their fear."

     All the advisors quietly nodded in grim agreement.  Cullen added, "our weapons are more formidable than what Adamant has seen in the past. We will examine possible weak points in the fortress' structure."

     "Is there  anything else that requires our dire attention?" Faewyn added wearily. 

     Leliana spoke softly,  "actually yes. We have had many people,  mainly the chantry and curious nobility,  asking about where you come from."

     "Clan Lavellen." 

"Yes, we know. However you were only with your clan until you were 17. After that, everything becomes ..... unclear." 

     Faewyn looked up at the ceiling and sighed, "I suppose I'd have to explain sooner rather than later." I was asked to go to another neighboring clan since they had a shortage of mages and  we had too many. Clan Dathlen. I remained there for a short time before abruptly leaving. The clan was involved in darker magic, including blood magic. When I wouldn't comply, the Keeper's first hit me. I hit him back. We fought. He overpowered me and beat me, then left me for dead in the forest. When I awoke, I knew I couldn't return. But I didn't feel I could return to Clan Lavellen either without putting them in danger.  So, I began traveling,  making coin by acting as a healer, sometimes a trader between other Dalish clans...basically odd jobs to make enough coin for food and somewhere to sleep."

     Cullen's eyes were dark and narrowed when he said in a low voice, "and where is the Keeper's first now?"

     Faewyn shrugged, "I heard rumors that the clan was invaded by Templars.  Those who escaped went further North." 

     Josephine spoke next, "thank you for this information Inquisitor.  I'm sure this is a topic you did not wish to revisit. "

     Faewyn smiled softly,  "its embarrassing for me. I've become such a skilled fighter. I knew how to fight then, but he was more experienced and bigger. I landed a few good ones though. If we met now, the outcome would be very different. "

     "There's nothing to be embarrassed of. You acted nobly.  You refused to practice blood magic. You survived an attack.  You made your way in this world. It is inspiring not embarrassing. " Leliana said with pride in her voice. 

     Cullen, still seething from the idea of a man striking Faewyn,  "your  drive never stops amazing us Inquisitor. " 

     Farwyn blushed and thanked her advisors and began to walk out to head to her room.

      When she reached the last flight of stairs she was almost giddy at the thought of curling  up in her small little cot. She was exhausted. 

     When she reached the landing, she couldn't believe what she was saw. Her once cold, grey, drafty room had been completely transformed.  Thick velvet green drapes framed each side of each window from ceiling  to floor. A massive mahogany desk was placed to the side of the fireplace.  A huge furry rug lay in front of the fireplace with two oversized cushioned chairs facing the warm fire. A beautiful chaise lounge was against the railing of the stairs and a bookshelf stood against the wall. A massive bed with multiple fluffy pillows and blankets draped across. One of the doors next to the bed had a sign that said "enter".  When she opened the door a massive closet held her new custom wardrobe.  Another door was left open that led to a small room with a copper bathing basin and shelves stocked with Orlesian soaps and oils. 

     Faewyn felt tears stinging her eyes. Never had she even let herself imagine staying in a room this exquisite, let alone actually seeing one. Suddenly, she was interrupted by a knock on her  door."come in!" She shouted. Heavy footsteps made their way up the stairs and she knew who it was. "Cullen! You have to see this!" She said excitedly pulling on his hand into her room. "Have you ever seen anything so beautiful? I don't even know what to do with myself! I want to jump on that bed, I want to take a bloody bath, I want to snuggle up with a book and I want to sip wine in front of the fire and I don't know what to do first!" Her eyes were bright  with excitement and she was talking a mile a minute.  Finally,  she noticed Cullen wasn't saying a word and he didn't look surprised to see her room. He wasn't even looking at the room. 

     He was smiling softly as he watched her excitement.  Faewyn suddenly knew who had made this happen. "Cullen.... you did this?"

His cheeks flushed and he rubbed the back of his neck nervously,  "Josephine asked me to carry a box of some your new wardrobe to your room. The servants were all busy and it was too heavy for her to carry. I saw how.... well how damn awful your room was. I decided to do something about it. I had  Josephine and Leliana's help of course. " 

      Faewyn flung her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as his armor would let her. "Thank you Cullen. This is by far, the kindest and most incredible thing anyone has ever done for me." She kissed his cheek softly and squealed in delight,  "I've decided to take a bath first then a nap!"

     Cullen chuckled, "whatever the Inquisitor desires of course." He gave her gentle nod and left the room.  Josie and Leliana were waiting for him in the main hall.

     "Well? What did she think?"Leliana asked smugly. "She loved it. " Cullen said softly with a smile on his face. Josephine and Leliana gave each other knowing looks and smiled.     

     "Commander I am still impressed with the work you put into all of that. You went out of your way to make Faewyn happy. It is so romantic. " Josephine said wistfully. 

     Cullen sputtered,  "romantic? No I-"

"Oh sush Cullen. Its romantic and its  _adorable ._ The Ambassador and I are loving seeing the two of you dance around one another.  Its only a matter of time." The two women smiled confidently at him and walked away.

     _Maker's Breath am I that obvious?_

 


	19. Chapter 19

     "You know I have to say I underestimated our Commander.  I figured he would be the type to pick you wildflowers that were actually just weeds. He wouldn't know they were actually weeds of course. And you would smile at his thoughtfulness and the effort.  However, THIS  is quite the grand display of his feelings. " Dorian stretched out on the large bed with a glass of wine in his hand. 

     "It isn't a display of anything Dorian. He wanted to do something nice. He's held so much guilt after what happened at Haven. I think he looks for ways to apologize....not that he needs to. He did nothing wrong but he won't take my word for it."

     "My Dalish Dove, he may harbor guilt, but this room makeover has nothing to do with that. He's mad about you. Do you really not see it?"

     Faewyn felt a blush rise to her cheeks.  She thought about Cullen. A lot. All the time. Yet, she just  couldn't see how he could be interested in someone like her. She was Dalish,  a mage, she had a glowing hand, she was the Inquisitor.... not exactly wife and future mother of your children material.  She expressed these thoughts to Dorian. 

     "Cullen deserves a beautiful Fereldan woman. One that's perfectly polished,  polite, soft spoken, who's biggest priority is him and their children.  Not trying to save the world from an ancient magister."

      Dorian dramatically mocked yawned. "Maker she sounds dreadfully boring and I'm sure Cullen would think the same. The man has lived through several cities getting destroyed, mage uprisings, giant tears in the sky with demons raining down .....and Maker knows what else. You can't possibly think he'd be satisfied with a woman who's greatest personal achievement is winning the local bread baking contest?" 

     Faewyn let out a laugh, "alright you make a reasonable point there. " 

                   ******************************

     "The preparations for the siege of Adamant are almost complete Inquisitor.  Just a bit more fine tuning or our soldiers who will be on the frontlines is needed.  I want to minimize the casualties as much as possible. "

     Faewyn nodded grimly,  "yes of course,  thank you Commander.  I know they've volunteered to be apart of the Inquisition.  I know they wish to fight for our cause.  However,  I don't want to see lives needlessly lost."

      Cullen nodded in swift agreement.  "I agree completely.  It should only be a couple more weeks before we move out."

     Leliana said, "Inquisitor,  if I may, you will be right in the middle of the fighting.  You will benefit greatly from training with the Commander. Your survival is top priority. "

      Cullen added in a confident voice, 'I agree. You need to be prepared for seasoned warriors.  Are you able to meet me this evening at the training grounds?"

      "Yes, that should be fine. However, I don't believe I'm in as dire need of training as you think Cullen...."

      Cullen smired arrogantly,  "I'll be the judge of that Inquisitor. " 

     Faewyn quirked a brow and replied,  "very well. Get your rest....you'll need all the energy you can get Cullen." She winked and strolled out of the war room. 

      Cullen felt the eyes of Josephine and Leliana on him. He turned , "What?" 

     The woman looked at one another and giggled just slightly.  Josephine said, "oh nothing Commander.  Do get your rest. It sounds like your training with Faewyn will be quite....rigorous. "

      Cullen's entire face went red and he looked up to the ceiling in exasperation.  "You women will be the death of me." 


	20. Chapter 20

      Faewyn made her way down to the training arena. She was nervous although she couldn't pin point why exactly.  She was a skilled fighter, not at the level of Cullen or Cassandra, but she held her own nonetheless.  Cullen would be able to grow her skill set. Still, the nervousness she felt couldn't be shaken.  Deep down, a thought she didn't want to acknowledge asked  _what if he thinks you're terrible? What if you embarrass yourself?_

     No. She would not feed such insecurities.  She was Faewyn, Inquisitor,  healer, Dalish mage. She would not be intimidated by the Commander. 

      She had chose to wear a simple training outfit, one of Dalish design. Soft leggings and a shirt that wound tightly around her waist, crossing over her breasts and wrapping around her neck. It was a flexible outfit, one that moved well with her movements.  

     Cullen was already in the arena of course. Always early. He also wore a very simple outfit. Dark trousers and a rust colored tunic. He looked most handsome in the simplest clothes. Faewyn thought of how the Fereldan village women would have been competing to be his wife had he become a simple farmer like his family. He certainly would have had his pick of any woman. Frankly, he did now too. 

     He smiled warmly as she approached.  "Inquisitor,  I have prepared a few different training exercises for  you. I thought we would start with your staff, then move on to daggers?"

     Faewyn smiled and nodded in agreement,  "sounds good Commander. What will you be using?"

     "A shield and sword.  More often than not, you'll be facing warriors. Once you switch to daggers, I will continue with my usual weapons,  but I will also switch to daggers so you can practice against both types of fighting styles."

     They began circling one another. Faewyn was smooth with her staff. Twirling, striking,  slamming, and ramming it towards Cullen. He was smoother. He deflected, countered,  attacked,  again and again.

     "You're leaving your left side open when you try to counter my left overhead strike."

      "Stop head hunting Faewyn, if the opening is not there, its not there. You're only leaving yourself vulnerable with ill timed attacks. "

     "Do not lose your technique just because you are growing tired. Technique must always be maintained.  You can't afford a second of sloppiness. "

     Faewyn had been sparring for an hour and was exhausted.  Cullen seemed like he'd been sparring 10 minutes. She was frustrated and finally threw down her staff and turned her back to Cullen. She looked up at the darkening sky in exasperation. 

      "I'm sorry, was I pushing you too hard?" Cullen asked gently.  

     For some reason, this infuriated Faewyn.  "No, on the contrary.  I don't feel you've pushed hard enough  _Commander._ " She walked over to where the training daggers were laid out. She picked up a pair and faced off with Cullen in the middle of the arena. Cullen smugly smirked,  "you're mad." 

     Despite the red flush of anger on her cheeks and her eyes shooting a look that could kill,  she responded,  "no. But you're about to be."

     She lunged forward with her left hand while her right deflected his counter strike. She was a flurry of strikes and lunges and parrying. After several minutes of this high paced spar, Cullen finally started to breath heavy. She felt an inner smugness.  She feigned a head strike but swiftly dropped low to a crouch, kicked out her leg and tripped Cullen. He fell to his back and as she sprung to land on top he used her momentum and rolled her over to her back. He held his sword to her throat in a final sign of her defeat. 

     They both were out of breath and exhausted.  Neither made an effort to move. They just stared at one another, noting the feel of the other's body on their own.

     Whether it be adrenaline or not, Faewyn felt a surge of spontaneity and she grabbed Cullen by the back of the head and drew him down to her lips. She kissed him feverishly and he kissed her back just as eagerly. He dropped his sword and cupped her face as he parted her lips with his tongue. Their kiss deepened and Faewyn moaned softly causing  Cullen to thrust his hips into her. 

     Suddenly he felt a sharp poke in his ribs. He broke the kiss and stared into her face as she smiled wickedly.  He looked down and to his right side where Faewyn had placed her dagger. 

     "Tsk tsk Commander. So easily distracted in a fight?"

     Cullen pounced off of her and rubbed the back of his neck, "Maker's Breath Faewyn, was that what that was? A distraction?"

     She made her way to her feet and placed her hand on his  cheek. She stared into his honeyed amber eyes. No it  hadn't been just a distraction.  She cared for him a great deal. But they were days from heading to Adamant.  Was this really a good time to admit these feelings? 

     "After Adamant.... if I make it... we will need to talk."

     Cullen's eyes were sad as he placed his hand over hers and turned his face deeper into her hand. "You  _will_ make it Faewyn. I won't accept anything less."

     She smiled softly and  kissed him even softer on the lips. "Thank you for the training Commander. I see why our soldiers have become so skilled." She turned to walk away. When she was several feet away Cullen called out to her 

     "Faewyn........ " he paused. He looked like he had a million things to say but didn't know where to begin. So settled with a soft and low, "goodnight. "

She smiled, "goodnight Vhenan."

     He had no idea what that meant. But he felt a warmth in his chest nonetheless.  


	21. Chapter 21

     Adamant.  Faewyn gazed up at the imposing walls of the massive ancient fortress.  Her stomach twisted at the thought of fighting those who dedicated their lives to protecting the people of Thedas from the Blight. The Grey Wardens were heroes.  Now, they were their enemy. 

      When the Inquisition army broke through the North wall, soldiers spilled into the fortress. Cullen caught her arm as she was making her way through the rubble.

     "Cassandra,  Dorian, Varric and Bull will be at your side. Hawke and Stroud will meet up with you at the West side wall. Our army is strong and we have already made good progress. Take out the archers and the soldiers who are guarding the wall and we can get our ladders up there."

     Faewyn nodded. She turned to leave when she felt another tug on her arm. Cullen's eyes were filled with worry as he gazed deeply into her own.

     "Watch yourself Faewyn. Remember what we worked on. Stay ALIVE. When this is all over, I'll come for you."

     She smiled at the familiar words. Although there was no way either of them could insure either of them surviving,  his words  were like a healing balm on her  nerves.

    "You do the same Cullen. If anything happens.... everyone will look to you to lead them. I'll see you when this is over. Be careful Vhenan."

     She turned and ran towards the stairs.  

                 ******************************

    The battle was hard fought but the Inquisition was gaining ground. The tide had turned and the Wardens were either surrendering or helping the Inquisition fight those who refused to give up.

     Cullen felt victory was nearly theirs. Then he heard the roar of the dragon.  _no no no._

     "I WANT EVERY ARCHER AND TREBUCHET AIMING FOR THAT FUCKING THING!!!" 

     Arrows flew into the sky but were like rain drops on stone. 

"Commander! The Inquisitor!" Rylen shouted from the top of the landing. 

     Cullen's eyes shot to the top of the fortress where a bridge extended from the west to east side. There was Faewyn running for her life. The bridge collapsing from the weight of the massive dragon.  Faewyn, Cassandra,  Varric,  Dorian, Bull, Stroud and Hawke falling from the bridge. Then they were all suddenly swallowed up mid air by a giant green fade rift. 

      A silence swept through the fortress. Every Warden dropped their weapon in surrender.  Rylen made his way to Cullen. 

"Commander, orders sir."   Silence.    "Sir?... Cullen...."

Cullen didn't hear him. He heard nothing but the shattering of his heart being broke into pieces. His world had literally vanished.

         "COMMANDER CULLEN.  She would want you to hold it together. Now what are your orders SIR."

     Cullen suddenly snapped out of his daze. His eyes hardened and dark he said,

"Gather the surviving Wardens. Bring me Livius Eirmond." 

 

      


	22. Chapter 22

     They had been walking for hours. At least she thought.  Who really knew how much time passed when you were in the raw fade? The group had encountered demons, nightmarish visions, and the spirit of the Divine..... or something that looked like her.

      "When we get back I am going to take a long hot bath, drink an entire bottle of Tevinter red, pass out and then write all of this down." Dorian sighed. He spoke as if their survival was guaranteed.  Faewyn wasn't so sure. 

     Hawke and Stroud fought amongst themselves.  Cassandra and Bull were very quiet. Varric just kept muttering curses to himself.  Faewyn led them on. Suddenly she stopped.  She heard a voice in the distance.  It started to grow closer. 

     She heard a familiar voice all around her. 

_Faewyn sweetheart..... Dalen......_

_'_ No. Not this.' Faewyn pleaded aloud. 

"What's wrong Boss?" Bull tensed up at the sound of her voice and the urgency and fear that laced every word. 

      _Faewyn...... no. Faewyn STOP YOU MUST STOP THIS FAEWYN!!!_

At the sounds of the mystery woman's screams the group saw their Inquisitor fall to her knees covering her ears. A look of torment on her face and sheer hysteria. "Mamae! I'm sorry!!! Please!!!"

     A figure staggered towards them. It was a charred body of a woman. It was grotesque and making its way to Faewyn. To the horror of everyone,  they realized this  was the source of the mystery voice. 

_Faewyn..... you hurt me. You BURNED ME. YOU WILL BURN ALL OF THEM. YOU WILL BURN THE WORLD._

The figure let out a blood curdling scream and flames burst out across its skin. Then it crumbled to ash. 

     Faewyn was curled up into herself.  She was shaking all over muttering,  "I'm so sorry Mamae. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me."

     Dorian dared to approach her first. He gently crouched beside her and placed a loving hand on her arm. "My Dalish Dove..... we must keep moving. It wasn't real. Do not let this Nightmare break you."

     The others gathered around her and she let Dorian help her to her feet. Tears stained her dirty cheeks.  She wiped at them in vain. "I burned my mother and father when I was a child. They were fighting,  I came into my magic, I was too young to control it. I killed them. That's why my Keeper placed a ward on my magic. She restricted it because I was so young." Her voice trembled and she couldn't look anyone in the eye. Shame apparent on her face.

     "Words cannot heal our wounds. But you should not place blame on yourself.  It was nothing anyone could have controlled. " Cassandra said in the most gentle voice she'd ever used. 

     Faewyn gave a curt nod and spun around to continue the march. "Let's kill this fucking Nightmare." 

              *********************************

     "It should be me! Corypheus is MINE. " Hawke was determined to see this to the end.

      "No, Inquisitor.  It should be me. The Wardens caused this. A Warden should end it." Stroud said stoically. 

     Hawke grabbed Faewyn by the shoulders, "dammit this is how someone like me is supposed to die! Saving everyone's asses! Now let me do what I was born to do!" Faewyn felt tears falling down her face, her gaze no longer on Hawke, but on Stroud's back as he charged full speed at the demon. Hawke, realizing something was wrong turned in time to see Stroud fighting the Nightmare.  He growled, "come on then!" 

     Faewyn stood frozen watching yet another person throwing themselves at death on her behalf. "For fucks sake, I owe the Commander a favor and this is it!" He wrapped his arms around Faewyn's waist, pulling her back against him and off the ground. He ran with her and jumped through the rift.

             ***********************************

     "Commander! Quickly, the Inquisitor,  she's here!"

     Cullen ran faster than he ever had in his life. He didn't believe what the soldier had told him. But Maker he wanted to. He desperately needed to see it was real. 

     He came to the top of the landing, sure enough Hawke was on the ground, arms wrapped around Faewyn, and they both seemed unconscious.  Hawke's head suddenly popped up, Faewyn's followed. They stood to their feet, Faewyn raising her marked hand and closing the rift. Everyone stood still for several moments.  Once again, she defied all odds. Suddenly, all of the soldiers dropped to their knees in reverence.  

     Faewyn was covered in dirt and blood. The trail of tears left on her cheeks was evidence of what they'd been through.  Her face was blank. Her eyes devoid of any emotion.  Hawke and the others looked relieved and exhausted. 

     Cullen stood in shock. She was here. She was alive. He didn't dare move out of fear he'd betray his professionalism. Finally he found his voice.

"Welcome back Inquisitor. "

 

            ***********************************

     Several hours later, night fell on Adament. The army had made camp inside and around the fortress to accommodate the Wardens. Faewyn was given a large tent to bathe and sleep in. A healer tended to her wounds but generally speaking, the wounds were all superficial.  

     She couldn't get out the images of what the Nightmare had shown her. When she did see something other than the charred body of her mother, she saw Stroud, running with his sword drawn, to his death, so she could survive. She exited her tent and saw that a large fire was burning.  Varric and Hawke were having a drink and smiling as they spoke. Another battle that they both somehow survived. 

     Solas was busy  tending to wounded soldiers as she passed one of the medic tents. He stopped and looked concerned when he saw her.

     "Dalen, perhaps you should be resting? I can give a poultice to help you sleep."

     "I'm afraid to close my eyes tonight my friend. But thank you."

     She walked on, passing injured soldier after injured soldier. All of these men and women fighting for what they thought was right. Fighting for her. A murderer.  She felt the earth spinning and she couldn't catch her breath. She had to get out of there. She began to run. She ran past the remaining tents, past the gates of Adament, past the tents that surrounded the fortress until she was on a cliff that overlooked a valley below. She was alone. Here she would let out every feeling, every scream, every cry. Where no one could hear.

      

      "Commander Cullen, have you spoken with the Inquisitor?" 

     Solas suddenly appeared in Cullen's tent. Cullen was swimming in reports from all sections of the army. He sighed and stood from his desk.

     "No, she seems to want her privacy. I figured she'd be resting by now anyways."

    "She is not. She wandered past the medic tent not long ago. She looks incredibly distraught.  She doesn't seem herself.  She may want privacy,  but she may  _need_ a shoulder to lean on."

     Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. He was a damn fool. Of course he should've tried harder. He knows what happens to soldiers after a battle. Especially one that inflicts deep scars on one's spirit. 

     "Where is she now?"

"I heard murmurs that she was seen running outside the fortress, past the encampment on the outside. Seeking solitude no doubt."

      "Thank you Solas"

Solas nodded, "good night Commander."

 

     He walked for some time. Maker where was she? Then he heard wailing in the distance.  He walked further until the sound became louder. There near the edge of the cliff, was the Inquisitor.  On her knees with her head in her hands. Large sobs escaped her throat and her whole body was wracked in sobs. Cullen was gutted at the sight of her falling apart alone in the moonlight.

     He approached her softly and faintly called out to her, "Faewyn.....Maker Faewyn... I'm here"

She never moved from her position. The only sign she heard him was that her cries became softer. He knelt down in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. When that wasn't close enough for him, he scooped her up and placed her in his lap and cradled her against him.  She cried into his shirt for a long while. "Its alright now, cry as much as you like." He rocked her gently and stroked her hair. Her cries began to get quiet down and finally she fell asleep. Her body finally giving over to her exhaustion.  He softly picked her up and carried her back through the fortress. Weaving in and out of tents. His was the closest, so he decided to take her to his. Besides,  he couldn't leave her alone. Not after what he saw.

     Once inside, he lay her on his bedding. He removed her boots and socks. She was only in a soft dress and it seemed comfortable enough to sleep in. His own body became heavy with exhaustion.  He covered her with a blanket and he lay outside it beside her. She was breathing softly now, and he found himself admiring her pretty face. He swept a lock of her hair behind her ear. 

      He once again thought he'd lost her today. Yet once  again, the Maker returned her. He couldn't resist reaching his lips up to forehead and kissing it ever so softly. He said a silent thank you to the Maker and fell asleep.

 

     He awoke sometime later. Farwyn was softly shaking him awake. "Cullen? I'm sorry, I think you were having a nightmare. " 

     She was sitting up with a look of concern on her face. Cullen rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. "It's ok, I have them often. I didn't hurt you did I?" Suddenly he was propped up on his arm with worry on his face. 

     "No, not at all." She smiled slightly.  A look of saddness washed over her. "Stroud sacrificed himself for me. He was a good man. Better than I could ever be."

     "He was a good man. But he did what was necessary.  Just as you have on many occasions. "

     She set her jaw firmly and her eyes were downcast. 

"Cullen you need to know something about me. My magic.... it came too early. I was too young. My parents one night were fighting.  I was scared. My magic emerged and flew out of control.  I burned them. I set fire to our caravan and... and they died. I killed them." She whispered. 

     "My Keeper placed a restrictive ward on  my magic. What I did.... it's monstrous. "

     He pulled one of her hands away from her lap. He traced her palm with his finger and then placed a kiss in the center. Then he placed her hand on his chest, over his heart. "You were a child. It was circumstances out of your control. I have done terrible things. Things that I was in control of as a man. Nothing you have ever done could change how I feel about you." 

     She smiled slightly and lowered her head onto his chest where her hand had been. She could hear his  heart beating through the firm planes of his chest. "Thank you Vhenan."

"Will you tell me what that means?"

     He felt her smile against his skin,  " if I tell you, it may scare you away."

     "I seriously doubt that Faewyn. Out with it. "

She took a deep breath and whispered,  "it means 'my heart' " 

     A warmth bloomed in Cullen's chest and spread through his body. A smile grew wide across his face. "Really? Faewyn....." he struggled to find words that could convey what he felt. He loved her. But it was too soon to make such declarations.  They weren't even together.  Finally he let out a soft sigh, "and you are mine." 

     She hummed and let out a small yawn. "Goodnight Cullen."

"Goodnight Faewyn"


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little slightly altered canon. When Cullen has his breakdown, I always wanted to stay and help him!

     The dull thumping of his headache had morphed into a thunder cloud between his temples. Sweat dripped down the side of his face yet he shivered beneath his armor and mantle. He was swimmimg in reports. New soldiers were being added daily in large numbers. Assigning them where to go, who needed them most, ordering supplies to feed and clothe them....

     Cullen rubbed his forehead in a lousy attempt to ease the pain. They had been back in Skyhold for 4 days now. The journey back had been longer than expected. They had many injured soldiers, plus a much larger army to move with the inclusion of the Wardens. Cullen was hounded relentlessly with questions and requests. 

     Now he was on the training grounds trying to show a soldier how to fight multiple attackers. The man was stubborn in his former training as a city guard, and his strategies needed improvement,  despite what he thought. 

"If you bend at the waist you're leaving yourself exposed to knees and upper cuts!"

     "Never a problem in the city guard Commander"

"This isn't the bloody city guard recruit and we are fighting a fucking war not a pick pocket on the city streets!"

     The soldier gave a smug smirk and attacked.  Cullen had had enough of this man and would teach him a lesson. As soon as the man bent forward to duck Cullen's sword, Cullen's knee met his face and busted his nose.

      "FUCK!" The soldier let out a startled cry.

Cullen glared darkly, "I warned you but you obviously have to learn the hard way." 

     The soldier scampered off to the healers. 

"Was that really necessary?"

A strong Nevarran accent said dryly.

"No, but he had it coming."

"Or you're just in withdrawals and that man was at the right place at the wrong time"

Cullen scowled and stomped off to his tower. By the time he reached the top the earth was spinning. He ran to the edge of the wall just in time to vomit until his stomach was completely empty of its contents. He staggered into his tower, drenched in sweat. 

     A scout was waiting inside and saluted him as he walked in, "Commander, I've brought multiple reports for you sir."

     Cullen swayed back and forth, "jus...just set them.... the desk" he mumbled.

     "Commander are you alright? Shall I fetch the healer?"

     "No, just leave." 

     The scout hesitated, then walked out. Cullen collapsed to the ground. 

     

     He woke sometime later.  His headache no better, the world still spinning,  and his anxiety at an all time high. His sleep was plagued by memories and demons. Maker his demons were his memories. He sat up.  _I can't do this. I'll fail them. I'll fail her._

He finally got to his feet and slowly made his way to Cassandra.  

                   **************************

"Forgive me"

He said it lowly and full of shame as his head was lowered and his eyes would not meet hers. He left the armory and Faewyn stood stunned looking at Cassandra. She had went to Cullen's tower to see him. The trek home had been long and stressful,  especially for him. He was dealing with so much extra now that the Wardens were apart of the Inquisition.  Nothing was running smoothly. His withdrawals seemed to be getting him down as well. When she arrived at the tower, a scout directed her to Cassandra.  

     "What the fuck just happened Seeker?"

Cassandra sighed and rolled her shoulders. "Sit down Inquisitor.  We need to talk."

                 ***************************

 

     The lyrium kit flew past Faewyn and  shattered against the wall. 

"Maker's breath I didn't hear you enter! Forgive me."

Cullen slumped against his desk. Still unable to meet her eye. 

      "Its fine Cullen. Are you going to be alright?" She couldn't hide the fright and worry in her voice. He looked terrible.  He was pale, visibly shaking, and his speech was slightly slurred. 

     "Yes.....no. I don't know. I-" he staggered forward and caught himself before he face planted on the ground. Faewyn moved quickly to help but he kept her at a distance. 

     "Do you know what happened to me in Fereldan's circle? Of course you don't.  Very few do. Blood mages had conspired together to overthrow the circle. It was overrun with abominations.  My friends, were slaughtered in front of me. They kept me alive to torture me. They wanted to break my mind. How can you be the same person after that?"

     He was pacing now, his memories giving him renewed strength, or panic. Faewyn wasn't sure. She did know she was horrified that he had experienced such terrible things. 

     " still, I wanted to serve. So I was sent to Kirkwall. We all know what happened there. Meredith was driven mad by her paranoia.  Mages and templars were slaughtered in the city streets.... Can you see why I don't want any part of that life?"

     "Of course I can Cullen-"

"NO. You should be angry with me. I'm not the same without lyrium. I swore to serve this position,  I swore to serve YOU. I can't protect you if I'm in withdrawals. I should be taking it !" He punched his fist into the bookshelves making Faewyn flinch. "I should be taking it." He said again, but this time softer.

     She took quiet steps towards him and placed her hands on his beautiful tired face. His eyes softened looking into hers. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she said, "Cullen, what do you want? Not Commander Cullen. You, the man before me. Do you want lyrium?" 

     He sighed and closed his eyes as he placed his hands on hers as they cupped his face. "No. But these thoughts, these memories....won't leave me. If I can't-"

     "You WILL." She smiled softly. "Please, let me take care of you today.  No more work. Just us."

     He nodded in agreement.  "Ok." 

She slowly began removing his mantle,  then his armor.  He stood leaning against his desk for support. Finally he was just in his trousers and shirt. She removed his shirt as well. "Get in your bed. I'll be right back."

     She returned quickly with different herbs, healing balms and teas. She made quick work of everything.  He drank the tea while she burned healing herbs. Finally,  she had him lay face down and she began rubbing in the balm into his shoulders. They didn't speak a word. She knew he needed space. Her hands rubbed and kneaded his muscles for a long while. She heard a faint, barely audible,  "thank you Faewyn." Then heavy breathing.  He was asleep.  

     She watched him for some time. She couldn't resist placing the faintest kiss on the tip of his nose. "You're welcome Vhenan." She didn't know where this was going. But her heart knew where it hoped it would go. 


	24. Chapter 24

     "Dorian why do we have to argue about this? Pink is never a good color, especially on me." 

     "My Dalish Dove, it is a beautiful color when done right as with any shade. You're just not used to wearing such a traditionally feminine color.  Besides, I am sure the Commander would turn pinker than this dress if he saw you in it." Dorian added while suggestively wiggling his brows.

     Faewyn laughed and then let out a sigh. "I don't know Dorian. I think he's going through so much. I'm not sure he would want anything more than what we have now. Aside from you, he's my closest friend."

     Dorian was thumbing through an Antivan book on fashion. He set it down on the little table in the library and smiled. "Faewyn,  he's crazy about you. He just struggles with making the first move. You've given him plenty of space. It's been what, 3 days since you last spoke in private? Go see him. Feel the water. Sooner or later, you'll need to tell him how you feel."

     She huffed, "Ugh, I know. I need to lay it out and if he doesn't feel the same, at least I'll know and can move on."

     Dorian tapped his chin and said, "first, let's fix you up a bit yes?"

 

     They made it to Faewyn's room and Dorian was a blur. First he dressed her in a simple long blood red tunic that reached her knees. It slouched off her shoulders and had slits up both sides. Underneath she wore traditional Dalish footwraps that wound to her upper thighs. A large thick leather wrap wound around her waist. Her hair hung softly and Dorian stained her cheeks and lips with a pretty berry color. 

     "There! Go get your manly Commander!" He swatted her on the butt as she made her way out.

 

               ******************************

     Cullen breathed in the fresh mountain air of the Frostbacks.  It was a beautiful evening.  He gazed over the battlements across the snowy peaks. Torches and candles were lighting up Skyhold as the sun was making its way down. He felt relaxed. We wore simple dark trousers and a light tunic with his mantle draped across his shoulders. He was trying to wear his comfortable clothing when he was not in the presence of the Inquisition officials or his men. 

     He had taken Faewyn's advice. He was trying his hardest to take better care of himself. He felt better today than he had since he'd first stopped lyrium. He closed his eyes and felt the wind on his face.

     "Good evening Cullen. " Faewyn's soft voice floated from behind him. He turned and gave a crooked smile, "Good evening Faewyn, I'd hope to see you today."

     Cullen noted how beautiful she looked. Her clothing was simple yet she would stand out in any crowd.  Her dark eyes a stark contrast against the snow white background. He caught himself staring and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

     "I'm happy to hear  you wanted to see me. I've stayed away, trying to give you some space. How are you feeling?" She looked intuitively at him, trying to see if he was hiding his symptoms. To her surprise,  he looked heathier than she'd seen him look in a long while.

     "Much better now, thank you. I pushed myself too hard that day. I'll do better from now on, I'll take better care of myself. " 

     She stood now looking across the battlements, standing beside him. "Cullen, I wanted to talk to you..... alone."

     "We're alone now...."

"Yes, well, I honestly don't know how to start this conversation off..... I find myself thinking of you. A lot. That time I kissed you, I told you we'd talk about it. I'd like to now if you're up to it."

     Cullen turned and they faced each other. He stammered,  "I, yes, of-of course."

   "Cullen... Cullen I" she let out a long sigh.

     "What's wrong?" He said softly.

 "Nothings wrong. Cullen I care for you. But I know what I am and what world we live in. I'm a mage and I'm Dalish. Could you ever care for someone like me?"

     Her eyes were on the ground and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.  Cullen was baffled. She was worried he wouldn't care for her?! 

      "Maker Faewyn yes I could, I mean I DO care for you. I haven't said anything because well, you're the Inquisitor and we're at war. I would never  want to make you uncomfortable. There was a time when I despised mages because of what happened to me. I would have pushed you away and the thought that I would do that sickens me. I've  never wanted anyone the way I want you."

     Her eyes met his and she smiled. He stepped in slightly and slowly,  _slowly_ leaned his head down and  towards her lips. He stopped inches away from her mouth and said lowly, "whatever you want of me, it's yours."

      Her breathing became heavier and her chest felt like her heart was trying to jump out of it. "I want this, I want you" she replied back in a faint whisper.

     His lips came crashing down to hers as one hand cupped her cheek and the other wound around her waist.  She wrapped her hands around his neck trying to pull closer,  closer, closer. She couldn't stop her hands from running down the planes of his chest. 

     Finally he pulled away and set his forehead against hers. "Maker how did I get to be the lucky man? I thought for sure it'd be Blackwall." 

     Farwyn let out a laugh at this, "Creators why would think that?!"

     Cullen chuckled,  "well he has the whole  dark, mysterious,  manly thing about him."

     "My attention has been completely focused on you Commander since we first met. You've been quite the distraction. "

     He smiled and ran his hand over bottom lip. "Don't talk to me about distractions.  Look at you. I have to threaten latrine duty to my men everytime you walk by and they look longer than they should. And war rooms meetings? Maker's Breath. The struggle has been tremendous. "

     She giggled at his confession.  "Oh I've only begun to distract you Cullen. In fact, I can't wait for our morning meeting." She kissed him softly and sauntered off before peering over her shoulder, "do you ever wonder what else the war table could be used for?" She raised a brow and smiled seductively.  Cullen's mouth fell open as he struggled to find a response .

   "I, well, perhaps... well yes. I mean no. No I mean now it's all I'll think about, not that I won't pay attention to the meeting, I just, Makers BREATH." He let out a long huff and Faewyn laughed as she walked back to the main keep.

     He stood watching her as she walked away. Maker how was he going to pay attention in that blasted meeting now while looking at her and the table? 

     


	25. Chapter 25

     "Kissing on the battlements? Well they've never been subtle. Why would this  be any different?" Josephine said with an amused smile playing on her lips.

     Leliana hummed in agreement,  "yes I was about to lock them in a tower until they finally admitted their feelings for one another. It was getting absurd."

     "More than likely they think they're still being discreet. Its almost cute." Josephine said with a devilish look. 

     The two female advisors had long discussed the obvious attraction between the Commander and Inquisitor.  Back in Haven they saw it, along with everyone else with eyes and ears. They were both glad to see the pair happy. Leliana was especially happy for Cullen. She had known him so long, and knew of his past. She had been there when the Hero of Fereldan had found him in the Kinloch circle. He was so broken. He had been a shadow of the man that stood before them now as the leader of their forces. 

     As if on cue, the doors to the war room swung open and Cullen, in a few long, confident strides, took his place at the table.

     "Josephine,  Leliana,  good morning to you both." He said, especially cheerful. The ladies tried not to act differently but his mood was so obviously lifted it was contagious. 

     Josephine said with a charming smile,  "why Cullen, you are looking rather refreshed this morning.  Are you doing something differently?"

    Leliana added, "yes Commander, you have a glow about you. I see your time off has done you well. What exactly did you do during your rest?"

     Cullen rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly,  "I, uh, yes. I'm feeling much better now thank you."

     Josephine continued,  "we should thank the Inquisitor as well, she ordered your rest. She gave you  _exactly_ what you wanted, sorry I meant needed." 

     Leliana smirked and Josephine continued smiling a broad, innocent, toothy grin at Cullen. He coughed in nervousness, not really sure if they were teasing him or if he was being paranoid. It was getting dark when he kissed Faewyn... surely nobody was paying attention to two people up on the battlements..... then his eyes met Leliana's and a mischievous gleam shown through her blue eyes.   _Shit of course they know_

Suddenly the doors opened and Faewyn strolled in. Today she wore a traditional Dalish dress. It was low cut, wrapped around her neck so that it bared  her shoulders.  It hung softly but closely enough to show her curves. It flowed to the ground but had two massive splits on each side of her shapely toned thighs. Her dalish foot wraps went up past her knees. A small delicate gold chain wrapped around her waist and her hair was pulled loosely to one side to reveal a neck. She was stunning. Cullen realized her promise to distract him at the war meeting was not a joke. 

     She stood next to him and made small talk with Josie and Leliana.  At one point she leaned over Cullen to grab a report.  It was completely unnecessary of course, he would've passed it to her if he'd had the chance. She leaned in so that he could see straight down her dress. He realized quickly she was not wearing a breast wrap. His cheeks flushed red hot and he didn't realize they were speaking to him.

     "Commander what do you think? Cullen? Is something the matter?" Faewyn asked innocently as she placed a delicate hand on her collarbone. Cullen, gathering himself answered,  "no I'm sorry, I was lost in thought." He answered the question and turned his thoughts back to Faewyn's little game. He didn't like losing. He would play and he would win just like in chess, he thought smugly. 

     "Yes I think troop movements here along the west bank would be best suited for the mission" he made his way to walk around her and trailed his fingers across her lower back out of sight from the advisors. He heard a small intake of air from her as he made this subtle but intimate motion. "Is everything alright Inquisitor? You seem flushed." He asked smoothly. She gave him a murderous look and answered,  "quite fine thank you."

     Josie and Leliana looked at one another. "Josie, will you come with me to gather the reports I received this morning? I wanted to show the Inquisitor but I need some help. There's quite a few."

"Of course Leli." The women exited the room quickly. 

     Faewyn turned to Cullen, "very nice Cullen and  bold, I did-'" 

     He was on her in a flash. He pressed her backwards until she felt the cold stone wall on her back. His heated kiss causing her to let a low moan which in turn made him growl. His hands roamed over her curves and he nipped at her throat while she gasped. He was so restrained at every moment. This was a side she'd yet to see.

     "Cullen they'll be back any moment." She panted.

     "This is your doing" he said as he hiked up her leg so that it wrapped around his waist. She bucked into him shamelessly. His tongue swirling with hers. Suddeny he pulled away, with no announcement  he straightened  himself, smoothed his hair, and took his place back at the table. 

     Faewyn, still against the wall, hair a mess, cheeks flushed , lips puffy and rosy from their kiss and her clothes a mess cried, "where do you think you're going?"

    He smirked smugly. "I believe this game is mine" he said lowly. Faewyn's eyes went wide when she realized what he'd done. The doors to the war room opened and in walked the rest of the advisors. There stood Cullen, calm and collected. And there stood Faewyn, flushed, breathing heavy and hair mess. 

     "Inquisitor, Cullen was right,  you do look flushed. Perhaps you should  see a healer? You could have a fever." Josie said worriedly. 

     Leliana just stood with a knowing smirk.

"Yes, maybe I'll do that Josie." Faewyn answered slowly while giving Cullen a death stare. He stood still with a permanent smirk etched on his face. 

     Oh he will pay for this Faewyn thought.  She looked forward to the payback..... especially if it meant more of what he had just shown her.


End file.
